As I like to say, ain't no party like a West Coe party, because a West Coe party don't stop.

I am so thrilled to be here today.

My name is Rory.

I'm one of the pastors on the team here, and we are in week two of a series titled Built Different, where we're taking a look at three of the most important relationships this side of eternity.

We're looking at our marriage relationships, our dating relationships, as well as the relationships we have Bye.

with our kids, our parenting relationships.

Now, before we talk about what we're going to talk about today, we need to talk about what we talked about last week, which was our dating relationships.

We learned a whole bunch about dating.

We learned that singleness, before dating, there's singleness, and singleness is actually a gift from God. It's not just a season to endure.

No, it's actually a gift from God.

It's an opportunity for us to have.

undivided devotion to the Lord. And we can actually leverage our season of singleness for God's glory in profound ways.

But we also learned that if you have a burning passion for somebody else, that's a good thing too.

But before you find a spouse, you should actually choose wisely who you would date.

We put it this way.

Don't date projects.

Repeat after me.

Don't you date projects.

Why?

Because Jesus saves people and you don't.

Okay.

Don't date projects.

We even learned about what it means to guard our hearts.

Wisdom from Solomon.

And so I've got a little test for you.

We did this last week, but we're going to do it again.

Ladies, ladies, if Jimmy two colognes comes up to you at the gym and says, Hey girl, are you tired?

Because you've been running through my mind all day.

Do you give him a key to your heart?

No, you flee.

If Tommy Typewriter comes up to you at class and says, hey girl, is your name Google?

Because you're everything I've been searching for.

Do you give him a key or do you flee?

You flee.

Okay.

If Brother Bible Study shows up on Sunday morning and says, hey girl, want to practice speaking in tongues?

I saw some of you guys write that down and you need to repent in Jesus name.

You do not give that man a key.

You flee.

You flee.

Well today, today we're talking about marriage and I've always wanted to stand on a tree.

church stage and do this, so I'm just going to do it.

Marriage, marriage is what brings us together today.

You guys know the movie?

Yeah, Princess Bride.

Okay, well.

You got some homework.

If you ever watch the movie, go home and watch the movie this afternoon.

Here's the deal.

We're gonna talk about marriage, but before you like bow out of this message, because you're like, well, I'm single, or I'm a teenager, or I'm divorced, or I'm widowed.

Here's the deal.

Remember, this series isn't so much about marriage or parenting or dating as much as it is about discipleship.

It's about the people that Jesus is building, who he wants us to become.

you Today, marriage just happens to be our lens.

So speaking of marriage, it was almost 17 years ago that my wife Laura and I got married.

And our wedding was ridiculous.

We had 800 people at our wedding.

She was a teacher.

I was a youth pastor and my mother-in-law felt like she had the spiritual gift of invitation.

She invited everybody.

I'm talking family, friends, co-workers, Starbucks baristas, the receipt takers at Costco.

everybody.

If you just accidentally made eye contact with her, there is a good chance that Linda slipped you an invite.

We got to the wedding day and we're like, Linda, how many people did you actually invite to this thing?

And she goes, and I quote, I kind of lost track.

Well, 800 people showed up to the wedding and it was wonderful.

It was awesome.

There's all these really cool things.

We had a cool video to start the wedding.

And then my little nephew.

who was one at the time in his little red wagon got carried down the aisle with the rings and people are oohing and aahing and then there's a live band and it's playing bittersweet symphony and before I know it, my beautiful bride starts walking down the aisle in a mermaid cut wedding dress.

It was awesome.

I gotta be honest.

First thought was not spiritual, and it was, it was, Rory, you have significantly out-punted your coverage on this one.

So Laura comes down, the ceremony starts, the pastor preaches an incredible message, I don't know what he said, I can't remember a single word, I was trying not to pass out, I'm crying, it's all sorts of stuff.

We get to this cool moment, the unity candle, right?

Laura's got a candle, I've got a candle, and we try to...

like light this one unity candle.

It's symbolizing two lives becoming one.

And so she's got a candle, I got a candle.

We try to light.

The problem is the unity candle's on this high pedestal.

And we try for like 30 seconds and the crowd is like, they're starting to laugh now because we can't get this stupid thing lit.

And so after 30, 45 seconds of trying, I finally reach up and I grab the candle.

And when I grab the candle and bring it down, hot wax falls all over me and my tuck.

rocks I felt like I was on fire people are laughing but inside I'm like oh trying to hold it together lord is this what sanctification feels like whoo but the pastor makes a joke and we get through it and the ceremony's great then we get to the reception everything's moving smooth everybody likes the food there's good music we get to the first dance you guys remember your first dance I want to know what were some first dance songs here first dance songs just shout it out Say it loud.

What was it?

Okay.

Yep.

Yep.

What else?

Endless love, classics, unchained melody, endless love.

Anything else?

At last.

See, you guys, you got, that's good.

You know I'm 90s hip hop and R&B though, right?

We had Genuine sing our first song.

My whole life has changed.

Anyways, it's great.

First dance is going well.

We're two, three minutes in and all of a sudden the DJ brings everything to a halt.

And then there's some new songs.

that come on.

In fact, it was a medley of Michael Jackson and I unleash a four minute choreographed routine.

I'm talking about points.

I'm talking about kicks, talking about shoulder pops.

I'm talking about all of it.

A little bit of moonwalk in there too.

Even a little, all of it, all of it.

Now there's photo evidence.

And some people ask, is there video evidence?

There is.

But if I showed you, I would have to kill you.

So here's the thing.

years later people still talk to us about our wedding they remember the 800 people they remember the candle wax they remember the mj routine but here is what i have learned after 17 years of marriage it's this nobody stays married because they had a great wedding nobody stays married because they had a great wedding.

A wedding is an event, but a marriage, that's...

is a construction project.

And if I could go back and tell 24 year old me one thing standing at the altar, it would be this.

Rory, the moment you say I do, God hands you a hard hat.

The moment you say, I do, God hands you a hard hat because from that moment on, you're not planning a wedding anymore.

You are building a marriage, brick by brick, conversation by conversation, decision by decision, day by day, which is why I love how Jesus ends the greatest sermon ever preached, the Sermon on the Mount.

He's been teaching for three chapters and talking about anger and lust, talking about prayer, worry, forgiveness, loving your enemies.

And then he doesn't end his sermon with, hey, good luck, everybody.

Instead, he ends with a construction story.

Here's what he says in Matthew chapter 7, verses 24 through 27.

He says, therefore, if everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock.

The rains came down and the streams rose and the winds blew and beat against the house, yet it did not fall because it had its foundation on the rock.

But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on the sand.

The rain came down.

The stream.

Rains rose and the winds blew and beat against the house and it fell with a great crash.

Once again, Jesus finishes the greatest sermon ever preached.

And instead of ending with an altar call, he ends with a construction story.

He says, there's two builders.

Now, I always thought one guy was smart.

One guy was an idiot.

One guy was a gentleman.

The other guy watched YouTube and said, I got this.

But that's not what Jesus says.

He says both guys built a house.

Both guys heard the same teaching.

Both guys probably stood back when they were finished with their house, coffee in hand, looking at it, and said, nailed it.

Both houses looked great.

Until they didn't.

Then Jesus says something I've read a whole bunch, but sometimes I just skip over it.

He doesn't say, whoever hears my words.

He says, whoever hears my words and puts them into practice.

In other words, Jesus doesn't divide people into who heard the sermon and those who didn't.

He divides them into two categories, listeners and builders.

Listeners and builders.

And here's the scary part.

Both of them.

Both of these guys, they went to church.

They heard the message.

They took notes.

They probably on the way home said, wow, that was really, really good.

The only difference was one of them picked up a hammer.

Can I just say something?

I have never once driven past a construction site and seen a guy standing there reading the blueprint saying, man, this house is practically building itself.

Now, at some point you have to stop admiring the plans and start sweeping.

swinging the hammer.

And that is Jesus's point.

A sermon you admire will not change your life, but a sermon you apply will.

That's the truth.

And isn't it the truth in marriage?

You can listen to every marriage podcast.

You can read every marriage book.

You can come home and go to the Bible and read every verse on marriage.

You can even go to a marriage conference.

But eventually, somebody has to pick up the hammer.

I love how James says this.

He says, do not merely listen to the word and so deceive yourself.

He says, do what?

It says, because great marriages aren't found, they're built.

And what are they built on, friends?

On the word of God.

That's it.

So today, here's what I wanna do.

I don't wanna give you three more ideas.

I wanna give you three ridiculously practical tools to build a better marriage.

And can I be honest with you?

This was the hardest sermon I've had to read.

write in probably five, six, seven years.

I just, there's probably five to 10 different versions of this.

I had this whole Ephesians five theological diatribe on how our marriages preach a sermon and all this stuff.

And what I felt the spirit.

of God speak to me this week was, hey, if you're not helping, you're not helping.

In other words, I just need you to give the people some real practical tools straight from my word that will help their marriages.

Don't try to just do the head stuff.

Do the heart stuff.

Do the practical stuff.

Because ideally, when we walk out of these four walls, we want better marriages.

We want marriages that are going to honor God.

We do want marriages that are going to preach a sermon to a world that's watching.

Does that make sense?

So here's what I normally do too.

Before we dive into these points, I need you to pull out notes.

If you got something to write down things with, do that.

A phone, you can follow along on the one and all app.

If you got pen and paper, that's great too.

Write some things down because what you write down, you're more likely to recall later.

But here is point number one of three tools to build a better marriage.

Number one is this.

If you think something good, say it.

If you think something good, say it.

Ephesians chapter 4 verse 29 Paul says do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths but only what is helpful for building others up.

Now I love this verse because remember we're We're talking about building a marriage.

And Paul says, what do we need to do?

We need to use our words to build others up.

That phrase, build others up, in the Greek, it's the word okidom.

It literally means...

to build a house.

How amazing is that?

Paul could have said, well, be encouraging.

He could have said, watch your mouth.

He could have said, don't be a jerk.

And instead he reaches into the construction site and he says, no, use your words to build people, especially your spouse, which means every conversation you have with your spouse, you're not holding something in your hand.

Well, you are.

And guess what?

It's not a coffee cup.

And it's not a phone.

Do you want to know what it is?

It's a brick.

It's a brick.

And every compliment you give, you're laying another brick.

And every encouraging word, you're laying another brick.

And every, I'm proud of you, you're laying another brick.

And you're building.

This beautiful house that God wants you to build for his glory, but, and it's a big but, every sarcastic comment, every you always or you never, every cutting word, you didn't lay a brick.

Instead, you grabbed a sledgehammer.

You started demolishing that which God wants to build.

Your words are construction tools.

They're never neutral.

Every conversation...

Compensation leaves your marriage either under construction or under demolition.

So what's your choice?

What are you going to choose?

Are you going to use your words to build each other up or to tear each other down?

Here's what amazes me.

I know people who will give five-star reviews of a taco truck.

They're like, this is the greatest carne asada ever.

This salsa slaps, man, it's so good.

They'll tell complete strangers how amazing the food was and then go home and never tell their spouse, I'm proud of you.

Thank you.

I appreciate you.

You look beautiful.

I know you've been carrying a lot lately.

Thank you.

Thank you.

We will praise businesses online and stay silent to the people we love the most.

Listen, don't let Yelp hear what your spouse never does.

Some of us, we're trying to run our marriages on compliments from 2019.

Encouragement is not a one-time thing.

It is regular maintenance.

So, Say the positive things that you're thinking.

Say the encouraging words.

Don't assume your spouse knows.

There was a season right before we came down to one and all.

We had multiple miscarriages.

Really hard season.

We became parents through adoption.

Then immediately got pregnant and had a biological son.

So we got these two little boys.

And then immediately got pregnant again and had twin baby girls.

So in a three-year window, we went from no babies to four kids, four and under.

It was crazy.

Obviously, that was hectic.

My wife left her job.

We've got a very small income.

I'm a youth pastor up in the Northwest, but we do it.

She's at home with the babies, tandem feeding, all sorts of craziness.

At the same time, at work, my boss, his daughter, three years old, is diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor.

And she's given a year to live.

So he does what he should do.

And he goes and he spends a year with his daughter, making memories and pouring into her.

It was so good.

But then on this side, it meant now I oversee this giant.

swath of ministries, fifth and sixth grade ministry, junior high ministry, high school ministry, young adult ministry on Sunday nights.

And what happened was I was working 50, 60, 70 hours a week preaching three, four, five different sermons at a time.

And I was dying.

And my wife is also at home.

And she should be waving her flag too, because she's got four littles.

And at the same time, her parents say they're moving to Southern California.

And so she's devastated.

Our help is moving.

And yet, and yet, even though she's home with four littles trying to figure it out, and her husband is gone working way too much, she still found ways to encourage me.

She would send an encouraging text.

She would call me multiple times a day.

You've got this.

I wanted to die.

It was so stressful.

I was so tired, just like the emotional weight of everything.

It was just so much.

I'd get to Sunday nights.

We'd start at 6.30 in the morning.

I wouldn't get home till 10.30 at night, just every Sunday, just over and over and over and over again.

And yet she would still just encourage me.

One of her favorite things was to send me videos of our kids just speaking encouragement to me.

Here's one of those videos.

Say hi, Dad.

Hi, Dad.

You're going to do a great job tonight.

You're going to do a great job tonight.

We're praying for you.

We're praying for you.

Thank you for working hard for our family.

Thank you for working hard for our family.

Anything else you want to tell him?

Do you want to tell him that you like salsa?

I'm salsa.

The book of Proverbs says our words have the power of life and death.

I was dying in that season and my wife's words spoke life.

They put wind in my sail.

else.

She was stacking bricks.

She was helping us build a beautiful marriage.

Beautiful things aren't built by accident.

No, they're built according to God's blueprint, his word, and his word says our words matter.

So stack bricks.

Don't take them.

take a sledgehammer to them.

Point number one, if you think something good, say it.

Point number two is this.

If you think something fun, do it.

If you think something fun, do it.

emphasis on the do it.

This verse is potentially going to get me fired.

So here we go, guys.

Proverbs chapter five, verse 18 through 19.

May your fountain be blessed and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.

May her breasts satisfy you always.

May you ever be intoxicated with her love.

Can I just point something out?

This is in the Bible.

Some of you are looking around.

Can he say that in church?

I didn't say it.

God did.

and isn't it amazing?

God isn't embarrassed by marriage.

He's not embarrassed by sex.

In fact, God invented both.

But here's the word that grabbed me.

Solomon says, be intoxicated with her love.

Apparently Beyonce was right.

You can be drunk in love.

You can.

The Hebrew word literally means be captivated, carried away, consumed with delight.

Think about that.

God is not saying simply.

tolerate your spouse.

He's saying, don't just coexist peacefully.

He says, be captivated, which means somewhere along the way, marriage isn't supposed to become a business partnership or a parenting partnership or a roommate arrangement.

It's actually supposed to remain romance.

The world will tell you passion.

It naturally fades over time.

But the Bible says, No, joy is cultivated.

Delight is pursued.

Romance is intentional.

So maybe you're here today and you're saying, well, our marriage, we've just lost the spark.

Can I give you the best advice that I've ever heard?

If that's you today, if you've lost the spark of marriage, here it is.

Do what you did to get what you have.

Do what you did in order to get what you have.

Guys, do the thing that you did when you tried to woo your woman in the first place.

Do those things.

For me, it's playing games.

I hate games.

My wife loves games.

She thinks I'm good at trivia.

I play games.

And if I play, play games with her?

Guess what?

Sometimes I get lucky.

Okay.

Play games.

Sometimes we go to Chili's and we'll sit on the same side of the booth and make everybody else uncomfortable.

Sometimes, sometimes we'll go to a show or we'll go to a game.

Like we do the things.

I bring her Disney princess balloons.

Why?

Okay.

So when we were dating, I couldn't find flowers one day, but I found a Disney princess balloon and I grabbed it and I brought it to her.

And I said, I brought this balloon to you because you're a Christian.

you're my princess.

And now I will still bring her Disney princess balloons.

Now, some of you, you think, well, this kind of sounds like expensive or time consuming.

So is divorce, right?

Like, like spend a little bit of money, like go do the thing, sacrifice a little bit.

Can I tell you one of the favorite things?

And this doesn't really cost money at all.

It's mixtapes.

And you guys remember mixtapes?

Okay, yeah, we love a mixtape, especially us 80s people.

90s people, it was more like we burned CDs for each other today, I think it's just playlists.

But can I tell you a secret?

We love mixtapes, we love finding songs for each other.

And we start with like a Christian song, and then another Christian song, and then we sprinkle in a love song.

And then a Christian song and a Christian song.

And then you sprinkle in a love song.

And then another Christian song.

And then a love song.

And then another love song.

And then a Christian song.

And then a whole bunch of love songs.

And guess what usually happens?

We usually have sex and and here's the thing that's a beautiful thing it's a beautiful thing and remember I'm talking to married people am I talking to dating people no I'm talking to single people no but if you're married you got to relax I learned early on that Christians, they have strong feelings about sex.

When I was in middle school, I went on something called the True Love Waits Choir Tour from Seattle all the way down here through Southern California.

And I want you to picture this.

I want you to picture a bus full of middle school boys and girls, hormones doing CrossFit on the bus, driving hundreds of miles together, stopping at churches, malls, and even Disneyland singing to people about waiting until marriage to have sex.

We may have been the least qualified choir in America to deliver that message.

But we did get one thing right.

And it was this.

The message wasn't sex is bad.

The message was sex is valuable.

And valuable things are protected.

Nobody hires a security guard.

for a garbage can.

No, you guard diamonds.

You guard jewelry.

You protect what matters.

But somewhere along the way, the church accidentally did drop the ball.

We spent years telling people, wait until you're married.

But almost nobody told us, once you're married, don't stop.

Don't stop flirting, don't stop dating, don't stop laughing, don't stop kissing, don't stop pursuing one another, don't stop making love, because here's what's heartbreaking.

Some couples spend years trying not to have sex before marriage, and then spend decades trying not to have sex after marriage.

And that's not God's design.

He wants your marriage to thrive.

He doesn't just want covenant, he actually wants delight.

He doesn't just want commitment, he wants captivation.

He wants that drunk in love.

He wants husbands and wives who 25 years later would still say this, I.

choose you.

Because every intentional date, every handwritten note, every kiss, every laugh, every conversation, every act of intimacy, guess what you're doing?

You are laying another brick.

and these houses that God is allowing us to build, these marriages that we're building, they are built on 10,000 intentional moments, one thoughtful decision, one date night, one prayer, one kiss, one brick at a time.

Jeff told me before he left for his study break, he says, Rory, I need you to grow the church while you're gone, and I said, don't worry, I got it.

Nine months from today, we're gonna grow this church, amen?

Okay, your job is to...

if you think something fun, do it.

Emphasis on the do it.

Can I tell you something funny?

I didn't say this maybe at the other service.

Maybe I did.

During our True Love Waits choir tour, we were singing at Disneyland, okay?

In that little like theater right next to the castle.

And I had a solo.

Guys, I cannot sing.

I do not have that gift.

I wish I did.

My brother-in-law up here today, he can sing, right?

He can sing.

I can't sing.

I cannot sing.

But I get up there and I lead.

the whole concert off.

Here's my line.

Friday night and Lisa's got a blind date.

That's, you guys remember the movie Happy Gilmore?

Like the first one?

There's a line in that movie where someone yells out, you suck.

Well, guess what?

There's this tall dude in the back at Disneyland.

I sing my line, Friday night and Lisa's got a blind, and he just yells at the top of his lungs, you suck.

My heart, my little 13 year old heart was broken.

Anyways.

Yeah.

I digress.

I don't know why I said that.

I just wanted to take you back in time.

Point number one, if you think something good, say it.

Number two, if you think something fun, do it.

Number three is this.

If you want something different, be it.

If you want something different, be it.

Can I tell you something that you already know?

God created marriage and Satan hates marriage.

He hates marriage.

And one of the tricks that the devil tries to throw our way is he tries to make you think that your spouse is the enemy.

They're not.

They're your teammate.

And one of the best gifts that you can give your teammate is the ability to keep growing, is the ability to change.

In the church world, we call this the ability to be sanctified, to allow God to continue to make you more and more like him.

And so if you want something different in your marriage, can I encourage you this?

Don't let the devil get a foothold.

No, instead, listen to God and be the change.

Don't wait for your spouse to do it.

No, you take ownership and you do it first.

If you want more encouragement, be more encouraging.

Speak words of life over your spouse.

If you want to be pursued, Romans 5 doesn't tell the story of us pursuing Jesus.

It tells the story of Jesus pursuing us.

So that means love goes first.

Jesus went first.

That means you go first.

You be the pursuer.

You want more romance?

Go be more romantic.

You want more honor?

The Bible says in Romans, outdo one another in honor.

What would it look like if your marriage, you're like literally trying to compete to outdo one another in honor, to serve one another, to love one another, to say, sacrifice for one another.

Like what would it actually look like?

And don't wait for your spouse to do it.

No, you lead the way.

If you want something different, go ahead and be different.

Be the change that you want to see.

But then you go, well, how, how, how can I change?

It's the same answer I gave last week.

And some people don't like it because it's so simple.

But the problem is most of us don't do it.

Do you want to change your marriage?

It's as simple as the old kids church song.

Read your Bible, pray every day, and you will grow, Read your Bible and pray every day, and in this case, you will build, You will build a great marriage.

Why is this so important?

When you read the Bible, you are not reading it, it is reading you.

It is speaking to your circumstance and situation.

It is God's living and active word.

He speaks to you, and that's how he changes you.

You read and hear his word, and then you...

do what it says.

You apply it to your life.

And over time, little change by little change, things start to change.

Now, rumor has it, most people, again, you don't read your Bibles, your physical Bibles.

Most people like listen to things now.

That's okay.

We said last week, turn your Toyota into a tabernacle.

Redeem your commute.

Somehow, someway, get in, put the Bible out, press play, and get God's word spoken over your life.

Hit play on worship and And allow God's word to be sung.

over your life.

Somehow, someway, get God's word in you.

And we also found this out.

If you do that consistently for a year, that is the equivalent of a Bible degree.

So why would you not do it?

Somehow, someway, get it in your life.

But here's the other caveat.

This would be the one thing I would say.

That's wonderful.

Redeem your commute.

But here's the other little nugget we didn't say last week.

Do first what matters most, even if it's two minutes.

Here's what I mean.

The Bible often says that Jesus woke up early in the morning and went away to be with the Father.

We see that a number of times.

What if you just gave God like the first two to five minutes?

What if instead of just running to your phone or running to grab some coffee, what if before your feet even hit the floor, you just grabbed God's word?

And just for a couple minutes, You dove in.

Here's what I found.

People who start their day in God's word, their day doesn't happen to them, they happen to their day.

In other words, you get in God's word, you get armored up.

You put on...

God's glasses.

You put on his hearing aids.

You start seeing the world and hearing the world and you start stepping into the world with confidence, armored up, ready to attack the day because the enemy, he hates your marriage.

He hates the things that you're doing.

he's going to try to destroy it.

But when you go into the day and you made the decision to do first what matters most, to get in his word, to invest in your relationship with him, he will help you throughout the day.

Now is it awesome to do it at night?

Absolutely, do it.

If you're not doing it at all, find some time to do it.

But if you start your day with him, it changes things.

It affects your entire day.

So my encouragement would be, do first what matters most.

Read your Bible.

Secondly, pray.

every day.

Last week, I told you to shut up because some of us, we speak.

We just yap at God.

We just yap, yap, yap, yap, yap.

And sometimes we need to shut up so we can hear his still small voice.

And I would encourage you to do that.

But here's the other thing.

I love how Mark Batterson put this.

He's a pastor in the Washington DC area.

He wrote this.

He said, the greatest tragedies are the prayers that go unanswered simply because they go unasked.

My guess is in a room this size, there are some couples who came in here.

and maybe your marriage is on the rocks.

Maybe you're on the brink of divorce.

And God's word does actually say God hates divorce, Malachi 2.16, and it's not because he hates people, it's actually because he loves people.

God hates divorce for the same reason he hates cancer or abuse.

It's because he loves people.

He doesn't want his people to hurt.

And maybe you're here and you're on the brink of divorce and my encouragement.

to you today is this, if you have never asked God to intervene, if you've never made that request to God, don't leave this place today without doing that.

Pray, seek God, ask that he would intervene, ask that he would start changing you both from the inside out.

Be the change that you want to see in your marriage.

And slowly but surely, if you guys will commit to reading your Bible, and praying every day and seeking the Lord together as a couple.

I don't promise this.

I don't promise your marriage will be all sunshine and rainbows.

No, the storms, they're going to come.

They're going to come.

It came for both of those guys who are building the house.

The storm is going to come.

But if you will build your house on the rock, brick by brick, day by day, start stacking it.

Don't grab the sledgehammer.

No, bring the encouraging word.

Do the fun things.

be the change that you wanna see.

Slowly but surely, you will build something beautiful, not by accident, but according to God's blueprint.

So friends, if you think something good, say it.

If you think something fun, do it.

If you want something different, be it.

Say it, do it, be it.

Build it for the glory of God.

Amen.

Amen.

Here's what I need right now.

I need, thank you.

If you are here with your spouse right now, would you stand to your feet with your spouse?

Stand on up.

All the couples here today, all the married folk, and do me a favor.

Guys, grab your lady's hand and interdigitate.

Make it real.

This is a beautiful thing.

I pray that more and more amazing couples are at the foundation of our church family.

Thank you for being faithful.

Thank you for fighting the good fight.

Marriage is not easy.

I know that.

Storms come, difficult seasons, schedule and chaos.

It's a lot.

But I just wanna pray a prayer of blessing over the couples here today.

Would you pray with me?

Lord Jesus.

Thank you for every couple in this room right now and even those couples who might not be here today.

We pray immense blessing and favor over their marriages.

We pray that you would give them the strength to encourage one another, to speak life into one another on a daily basis, that that would become their routine maintenance, just words of encouragement and love and affection.

I pray that that too would lead to intimacy, deep intimacy with each other.

The years into marriage, they would say, oh, I choose you all over again.

I pray that romance would be wild here at One and On Church.

I pray that those couples who maybe felt like they've lost the spark, that you would reignite the spark even today through a date or a conversation, even a song, something, Lord, would you do that today?

And for...

Those in here, those couples that know there's things that they need to change by the power of your spirit, would you give them the ability to change those things?

Would you speak to them?

Would you be loud and clear?

And would you give them the strength to make those adjustments, to make those changes, to start laying bricks and throw away the sledgehammer?

Jesus, we pray blessing and honor over these couples.

Lord, we love you.

And it's in your name we pray.

And everybody said, amen.