Turn your Bibles to Genesis 50.

We're going to be starting from verse 15 to 21.

Genesis chapter 50.

One of my favorite movies, everybody knows this, who knows me is The Lion King.

I love The Lion King.

And in the movie, The Lion King, towards the end, Nala, a lioness, runs from her pride to find help.

Why?

Her uncle Skar has destroyed the Pride Lands.

And she stumbles upon her long lost friend Simba, whom she lost when they were cubs.

After catching up and, Can you feel the love tonight?

The real conversation starts, okay?

And here Nala, Nala says, she says, we have really, really needed you at home.

To which Simba replies, no one really needs me.

Nala says, but you are king, you are the king.

Nala, we've been through this.

I am not the king.

And then Nala says.

What happened to you?

You are not the Simba I remember.

Now, you have to go back to the beginning of the movie to understand what happened.

See, when Mufasa, Simba's dad is killed by his brother, Scar, after saving Simba during a stampede, Scar turns and puts the guilt on the little cub.

Remember this?

Scar says, what have you done?

And this question points the blame straight away to the little cub.

The little cub immediately assumes responsibility.

Okay?

Scar then says, but the king is dead.

And if it weren't for you, he would still be alive.

What would your mother think?

And Simba, scared, just says, what am I gonna do?

The famous lines, run away Simba.

Run, run away and never return.

So what happened to Simba?

He accepted a negative script from his uncle about himself that he carried for a very, very long time.

That no one needed him, he wasn't the true king of Pride Rock, and he was responsible for his father's death.

So.

He could not be the lion that he was supposed to be.

Lions are not vegans.

They don't eat slimy bugs, okay?

So we just came off a series that was so powerful that was called Under the Influence.

And Pastor Jeff shared a story of a young man who did not have a father, or his father did not pay attention to him, and he found love, protection, and provision in an older man, which led to a homosexual relationship.

See, our family plays a very, very crucial role in who we believe we are, in what we believe about ourselves.

Many of us live with negative scripts handed down to us by our family of origin.

Or, These negative scripts are created by earthquake situations.

When a series called Relationship Killers, and the title of this sermon is called Negative Scripts.

And these are scripts that affect every relationship that we're in.

In our marriage, siblings, work, friendships, name it.

These negative scripts affect our interactions and could kill relationships.

In Genesis chapter 50, we come to a very, very, very...

one of my favorite stories in the Bible.

And it's about Joseph.

Now, I have to give you a little bit of background here because not many of us might know the whole story of Joseph.

So, Joseph has 11 brothers, 10 of whom do not like him.

His father is Jacob and he is the favorite son, right?

And so they don't like him and so one day they sell him to be a slave.

They sell him to Ishmaelites and they take him to Egypt.

Later in the story, he is falsely accused of rape.

He's thrown in jail, and in jail he interprets two dreams of Pharaoh's officials.

And then later on, about three or four years later, he interprets dreams for the Pharaoh.

And then Pharaoh makes him governor, like the vice president of the superpower then Egypt.

Right, he's number two.

Pharaoh's number two, for those of you who know that musical.

Right, then a famine hits the land and Joseph is able to save the Egyptians, but his family comes over and he reveals himself to them.

Later on, he invites the family over.

His father comes.

They live in Egypt in a fertile place called Goshen, where they grow and multiply.

Now.

We are in chapter 50 where Jacob, Joseph's father, is dead.

Let's pick it up from there.

When Joseph's brothers had seen that their father was dead, they said, What if Joseph holds a grudge against us?

Listen to the question.

They say, what if?

Joseph holds a grudge against us and pays us back in full for all the wrong which we did to him.

Right, so they're making up the situation.

So they sent instructions to Joseph saying, your father commanded us before he died saying, this is what you shall say to Joseph.

Please forgive, I beg, the offense of your brothers and their sin for they did you wrong.

And now please forgive the offense of the servants of the God of your father.

Listen to that.

There's no personal relationship here, right?

Forgive the offense of the servants of the God of your father.

And Joseph wept when they spoke to him.

Then his brothers also came and fell down before him and said, Behold, we are your servants.

But Joseph said to them, Do not be afraid, for am I in God's place?

As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good in order to bring about this present result, to keep many people alive.

So therefore, do not be afraid.

I will provide for you and your little ones." So he comforted them and spoke kindly to them.

So what emotions do you sense in the brother's statements?

It's fear.

They fear Joseph will revenge for what they did to him.

So they devise a lie.

They put words in their dead father's mouth.

Why a lie?

You can see they create this situation, what if, what if, right?

And so this is what I think, this is my assumption, right?

Joseph and Jacob were very close that Jacob would have had this conversation with his son.

But Joseph whips, why?

Because I think he knew that they were lying and he also told them he had forgiven them twice in Genesis chapter 45, yet they were holding onto this guilt and this was killing their relationship.

He realized that his family was very guilty dysfunctional.

It was broken.

So why all the emotion?

He definitely had to deal with his brother's transgressions against him.

He had to figure out how to deal with that.

He also had been a slave and in jail for attempted rape that he did not commit.

He had been cut off from his father and his brother for many years.

His dreams had come true.

Remember you dream something, what?

20 years ago and it comes true?

That's amazing.

He had the power to revenge and he was seeing how his family was broken up.

So all these emotions are wailing up in Joseph.

See, when I was in seminary at APU in one of my classes, I came across this phrase called family of origin.

A family of origin is a family that you are raised in and its immediate relations.

And I started studying this particular phrase with Pete Schizero, emotionally healthy spirituality, and some of my material is going to come from there.

But God has given us families, but because we are sinners, our family of origin have negative scripts that they pass down onto us.

Some are more severe than others.

Pete Scesaro says this, Jesus may be in your heart, but grandpa is in your bones.

And none of us are immune to this.

These negative scripts are relationship killers in marriage, friendships, work, sports, name it.

They will have an impact.

A negative script is an internalized message from the past that shapes our conscious and unconscious behaviors in the present.

There were some very bad scripts that Joseph and his brothers inherited from their parents all the way to Abraham, and we're gonna look at that.

And these scripts caused major friction in family dynamics.

These negative scripts were a result of really bad, learned bad behavior from their family of origin and also some earthquake events.

So we're gonna look at Joseph's family of origin right now.

These patriarchs, what did they do?

We're gonna look at four major behaviors.

I'm gonna take you to the screen right here.

We're gonna look at them, okay?

Here is the first one, negative lies.

Abraham lies that Sarah is his sister twice.

In Genesis chapter 12 and 20, he visits kings and in both those instances, he tells the kings or the people there that his wife is his sister because she was very beautiful and he didn't want them to take her away from him.

Okay?

Guess who follows up next?

Isaac lies that Rebekah is his sister.

Where does he learn this from?

I'm assuming his father, right?

He does the exact same thing that Abraham did.

Jacob lies to his father and steals Esau's birthright.

Jacob's sons lie about Joseph's disappearance.

After they sell him, they take his coat and put blood on there and tell their father an animal killed him, okay?

And then, Tama lies about her identity to sleep with Judah, her father-in-law.

This is some crazy stuff.

This could be a soap opera or some kind of drama.

The negative script is lying keeps the family together.

Okay?

Or lying gets you ahead.

Or lying keeps you safe.

Do you see where this is going?

All right, second one.

Manipulation.

Sarah manipulates Abraham into getting a child with Hagar.

She complained that, hey, God has not given me any children, so go sleep with Hagar.

And so Abraham follows what she's saying.

She says, God has prevented me from having children.

Okay, Jacob manipulates Esau into giving up his birthright.

For those of you who know the story, go back and look if you don't know the story.

Genesis 25.

Rebekah plots with Jacob to steal Esau's blessings in Genesis 27.

A house divided cannot stand.

We have...

Esau and Isaac versus Rebekah and Jacob.

Their family is absolutely divided at this point.

Uncle Laban, okay, Rebekah's brother, tricks Jacob into marrying Leah.

Instead of marrying the woman he loved, Rachel.

And many of you have heard Pastor Joseph preach on this one, right?

Leah is not so attractive and Laban can't give her away, so in the marriage day or the marriage ceremony, wedding day, he slips Leah into the tent and Jacob has no option but to take Leah for his wife.

Simeon and Levi killed all the males of the city of Shechem by tricking them into all getting circumcised and they killed all the males of that city for raping their sister Dina.

Negative script, trickery or manipulation gets your agenda accomplished.

You see where we're going with this?

Third, favoritism.

This was a big one, okay?

We know Abraham really loved Isaac, so God tells...

tests Abraham, hey, go sacrifice your son, okay?

Esau, Isaac loved Esau.

Rebecca loved Jacob.

Jacob loved Rachel and Joseph more than any of his other wives or children.

And the negative script for those who are unfavored, I am of no value.

For example, Leah had so many kids as she was trying to get the attention of her husband.

Negative script for the favored people, I am more important than anyone else.

Fourth one, cutoffs.

Abraham and Ishmael, they were separated forever.

Once Abraham sent Ishmael away, he never saw his son again.

Isaac and Rebekah, that was a sad one.

Jacob never saw his father and mother again after stealing the birthright and running away from Uncle Laban.

And Joseph and Jacob were separated for over 22 years.

That's really amazing.

So when you put that together, the negative script, I am not loved enough, or I will never be fully accepted.

Imagine what Ishmael felt when he was sent away by his father.

Imagine what Jacob felt when he was running away from his father.

I will never be fully accepted.

That is what he was thinking.

All right, now we're going to put this all in what we call a genogram.

And a genogram is basically your family tree and you just attach the negative scripts to it.

Here is what Joseph's genogram looks like.

Okay?

We have some people who are favorites.

We have some people who are separated from each other.

We have some manipulation going on.

We have some people who are distant.

I mean, look at the patterns that you see.

Do you see, I wanna give you a moment to look at this.

Do you see the patterns that have emerged right here?

Simply amazing.

There are some things that are in every generation.

Now, I'm gonna show you my genogram, and I'm gonna explain that to you in a little bit.

This is me at about the age of 17 and 18, okay?

This is what my family looked like.

Whoo!

Simply amazing.

I was born to a concubine, and I wasn't really close to my dad.

There was hostility between me and the other concubines and their children.

We were distant from each other.

There was some witchcraft going on in my extended family.

This is my current little family, four children, we love each other like crazy.

Awesome, love my family.

And I love my immediate brothers and sister, my brother and sister.

But you can see some patterns here that were so distant from each other.

I wasn't close to my dad at all.

He kind of liked me, but we weren't very close.

But as you can tell, there are some patterns of being distant from each other.

Now, I have tried to break that pattern in my family.

Now, why is that important?

Because my negative script, the script that I carried for a long time was, I am not valuable enough for my father's love.

I remember...

I told my dad one time, I've been picked to play for the Uganda national team under 18.

And I told him it would be good for you to come.

And after the game, I looked for my dad, and he wasn't there.

Twice.

That was something.

My mom was there, who was just freaking out because I was being picked up and crashed all over the place.

But my dad was not there.

So that was my negative script.

I am not valuable enough for my father's love at the age of 17.

When I did this same exercise in Kenya, in Chosen Children of Promise, which is our missionary partner down there, there was a girl who used to wear boys' clothes.

After I did this exercise, she gave her testimony.

And all the women in her life, she said this, all the women in her life treated her so badly until her uncle took her in, who treated her with love and respect.

So this girl said to wear boys or men's clothes because she associated men with protection and love.

Her negative script, women cannot be associated with love.

I wanna give you a good example to make this a bit more clear from Pete Skizzero.

He says this in his book.

Dan was a highly accomplished doctor who earned a very good salary.

He also serves on the church board.

He struggles with perfectionism and workaholism, which hurts his relationships both at work and church.

One day when he was 10, he came home with an A on his report card.

And he was punished by his father for not getting an A+.

His dad sat Dan in his room and drilled him on the vocabulary words since that is where he got, listen to this, two answers wrong.

Dan's negative script, get it right all the time and don't make mistakes.

So your family of origin can give you these scripts unintentionally that you'll carry into your marriage, dating, friendships, work, sports, and these scripts adversely affect how you interact with people.

All right, so number one is negative scripts.

Number two is, sorry, the first one is your family of origin.

Number two is earthquake events.

Earthquake events are huge incidents that happen to us at the age of 12 or before, or age 17 and before.

So two places.

Why?

Because that is when your mind is developing.

Okay?

Are you with me?

And those cause a negative view of life and of people.

For example, Simba, the death of his father was huge.

And his negative script was, I am responsible for my father's death.

For Joseph, we do not know what his negative script was, but he had an earthquake event.

He was dropped in a well, left for dead, but then his brother sold him into slavery.

Imagine at 17 being disowned by your family.

That hurt.

That should have hurt him.

I have a co-worker here at age 17, her parents divorced.

What was her negative script?

I am not good enough for my parents to be together.

She also thinks I will never, or thought, I will never find someone good enough to marry because I don't have a put-together family.

I have another friend in third grade.

He was called very bad words by his teacher in front of his classmates.

Things a teacher should never, ever say to a student.

And his classmates jumped on that bandwagon and called him names.

As a result, he grew up with the script, I am worthless, I am stupid.

And this caused a lot of depression and anxiety for him.

I have another friend, and I'll call him Jack for now, At four years old, his parents had a major conflict which led to divorce.

His dad abandoned him.

At 17 years old, his mom left, got remarried.

His mom abandoned him.

And 17 years old, same age, his aunt and uncle asked him to leave the house and to this day he has no understanding as to why he was asked to leave his house.

So he was left homeless.

When he got married, his marriage was characterized by lying, Deceit and cover up so that he could avoid conflict.

Why?

He was afraid of being abandoned.

His negative script, conflict leads to abandonment.

There could be other events in our lives that cause us to think negatively.

One, death of a loved one, abuse of a loved one.

out of state or country transfers, an accident, betrayal, abortion.

All these things can cause us to have negative scripts because they're major events in our lives.

Negative internalized messages from our family of origin or from earthquake events can become relationship killers.

Conflict is a bad thing to avoid at all costs.

I am not good enough.

I am not loved.

Get it right all the time and don't make mistakes.

Don't trust people.

My value is based on my achievements.

I cannot make any decisions.

Maybe you see bad habits in your life.

Maybe you see culture or spirituality that goes way back to your grandparents.

Alcoholism, codependency, witchcraft, family breakups, divorce, unhealthy lifestyle.

Taking these attitudes and behaviors into friendships, marriages, workplaces, family will kill relationships.

Maybe this is you today.

Maybe you don't trust people, you don't love yourself.

You manipulate or have been manipulated.

And you find that your family is surrounded by lies, anger, unforgiveness, and jealousy.

Maybe there are things you've told yourself that are not true, things that have happened to you.

that have negatively affected the way you view yourself and you view others.

Today, I have good news for you.

God wants to free you from this relationship killer and negative script.

Jesus said, I have come to set the captive free.

Woo!

And that is amazing, that's good news.

So how do we deal with negative scripts?

All right, so we're gonna look at Joseph and see how he overcame his negative script.

The first thing that Joseph does is he walked with God.

To overcome negative scripts, you need, you and I need to walk with God.

You need to be in what Pete Skizzle calls a loving union with God.

In Genesis chapter 39 and verse two, it says this, the Lord was with Joseph, so he became a successful man.

In the same chapter, verse 21, it says, but the Lord was with Joseph and extended his hand.

Kindness to him now.

I want to explain something that you may have not really observed in that both those verses Lord is capitalized L-o-r-d Capitalized all of them and that stands for the name of God Jehovah in the Hebrew Okay They put together Yahweh and Elohim, because Yahweh is God's sacred name that cannot be pronounced.

Elohim is creator God.

And so they put vows in Yahweh and came up with his name as Jehovah, which I'm excited to tell you means a relational God.

I've been going through this study with my community group with Tony Evans, an amazing study learning the names of God.

And this was fascinating to me because When you see the word Lord here capitalized means God is pursuing somebody.

He wants to be in a relationship with someone.

So they capitalized it to show you that God is pursuing the person or that person is already in a relationship with Him.

So when we see Joseph at this time, it says the Lord was with Joseph.

It's amazing because it tells us that Joseph was in a relationship with God.

I'll give you evidence as to why.

When he's tempted by Potiphar's wife, he says this to Potiphar's wife, how can I do this evil thing and sin against the Lord?

That means Joseph loved God so much, he didn't want to disappoint God.

Him and God were tight.

So Joseph was not about to kill his relationship with Potiphar, but most of all, he didn't want to kill his relationship with God.

He loved God so much.

Joseph could have done the same thing his brother Reuben did.

Reuben slept with his father's concubines.

So if you want to get rid of a negative script, you've got to work with Jehovah.

Jehovah is pursuing you.

He wants to be in a relationship with you.

you.

Walking with God gives God permission to start walking on you so that you can become more Christ-like.

Just because you've given your life over to Jesus, listen to this, does not mean that you are walking with Him.

Colossians 2 verse 6 says this, therefore as you have received Christ as Lord, so walk in Him.

It's possible to receive Jesus and not be walking with Him.

There is a guy in the Bible who walked so close to God that God just...

took him.

This is in the book of Genesis chapter 5, it says this, listen to this.

Now Enoch lived 65 years and fathered Methuselah.

Methuselah is the oldest man who ever lived.

Then Enoch walked with God 300 years after he fathered Methuselah and he fathered other sons and daughters.

So all the days of Enoch were 365 years.

So Enoch walked with God and he was disappeared.

For God took him.

I wonder what his kids were thinking.

One day they maybe walk with him while they're eating a dinner.

I'm not sure even what happened.

And he just, boosh.

Listen to what the NLT says about this, a different version.

The new living translation.

When Enoch was 65 years old, he became the father of Methuselah.

After the birth of Methuselah, Enoch lived in close fellowship with God for 300 years.

And he had other sons and daughters.

Enoch lived 365 years, working in close fellowship with God.

disappeared because God took him.

Listen, in chapter five, Enoch is the only one listed in that whole list of people who walked in a close fellowship with God.

Everyone else lived and died, Enoch walked with God.

Did you hear that?

Everyone else lived and died, Enoch walked with God.

Question I have for you, do you just wanna live or do you wanna walk with God?

Do you wanna live or do you wanna walk with God?

Your relationship with God.

cannot be reduced to one hour on the weekends as Pastor Jeff says.

Your relationships will be healthier if you walk with Christ.

More love, more joy, more peace, more patience, more kindness, more goodness, more humility, more faithfulness, more self-control.

Imagine what our relationships would be like if we all walked with Christ.

with God.

Because Joseph walked with God, Jehovah turned his life around.

Instead of killing his brothers, he invited them into a new relationship with him.

So when you walk with God, he begins to turn your life around.

There's a Kenyan song that my friend Liza was singing when we were in Hungary that she learned on a mission trip to Kenya.

And I want you to listen to this song for a moment.

Who is the King of Kings?

Jehovah is the King of Kings Who is the Lord of Lords?

Jehovah is the Lord of Lords Jehovah turned my life around Jehovah turned my life around He makes a way when the sin away So God will rewrite your script if you choose to live in a loving union with Him.

Question I have for you is, how is your devotional life?

Are you in a community group?

Most Christians today do not have daily communion with God.

How is your walk with God?

Number two, admit your family failures and losses.

As I was reading Joseph's story, I noticed something I never observed before.

Joseph was a crier.

He really, really felt very deeply.

The first time he weeps was in Genesis 42, the first time his brothers visited.

The second time when he saw Benjamin in chapter 43, when he reveals himself to his brothers, that was the third time he cried in Genesis chapter 45.

The fourth time is when his brothers were afraid and tried to manipulate him.

He just cried and wept all the time.

Why?

because Joseph was walking with God and he observed how broken his family was.

I can see him struggling and he sees them and he remembers all the hurt, the bad jokes, and yet he was willing to look beyond himself and see what God sees, and so he grieves.

Pete Skizzero says, but out of his honest grieving of pain, he truly forgave and was able to forgive his brothers who betrayed him.

Joseph flipped the script and repaired the relationships he had with his brothers.

Instead of killing relationships, he moved towards forgiveness and a positive script.

Your family is broken because of sin.

There is no perfect family.

If you want a better relationship or better relationships, if you want a positive script in your marriage, with your children, at work, in church, in your community group, You have to admit the failures and losses of your family of origin.

Name them and give them to God.

Blaming your family for your problems will never help.

Blaming your family for your problems will never help.

You've gotta ask questions like, how do you describe your parents' marriage?

How was conflict handled?

How well did your family do when they talked about their feelings?

What was considered success?

What addictions existed?

What traumatic losses affected your family and so on?

If you were in Joseph's place, what would you have done to your family?

So during worship you're gonna be given an opportunity to come and name your losses, cry and weep and just confess whatever has happened in your family to God.

You're about to come right here and pray and ask God to look deep in your family and reveal anything that you need to confess.

So number one is walk with God.

Number two is admit your failure and losses.

Number three is partner with God to bless others in your relationships.

In order to write your script, you have to do what Joseph did.

You've got to partner with God because God is writing a bigger story than you.

In Genesis chapter 50, we read this verse 19, but Joseph said this, do not be afraid for am I in God's place.

As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good to bring about this present result.

To keep many people alive?

So do not be afraid.

I will provide for you and your little ones." So he comforted them and spoke kindly to them.

Joseph had a profound bigness of who God is and what God was doing.

Joseph's partnership with God did two things.

Listen to this.

It preserved the lineage of the Messiah.

He comes through Judah and he provided for those who even did not know God, who did not follow God at all.

He preserved humanity.

Joseph had clearly developed a history over a long period of time in his relationship with God.

His whole life was structured around following the God of Israel.

came, he was ready.

In the same way, there are daily choices centered around our own walks with God that are critical for us, critical for us to serve as an instrument of blessing to many.

See, God has strategically placed you where you're at.

In the family in which you were born, in the place you live, the job you have, the friends you have, the gifts you have.

And so you have to look carefully and figure out where is God calling you?

Who is he calling you to bless?

How can you be a blessing?

Realize your place before God and use your gifts to bless those in relationships with you.

So number one, walk with God.

Number two, admit your failures and losses.

Three, partner with God to bless others.

And I don't usually do a fourth point, but I thought this would be very important.

Counseling.

See, if you have a negative script that's in too deep, man, you gotta find help.

As Pastor Jeff says, if the demon is in too deep and it's causing you anxiety, depression, you can't seem to take a next step, we have a care department and resources to help you from abortion care groups to codependency groups to anxiety and depression groups.

We have regeneration.

Oh, we have amazing resources to help you deal with any negative scripts that have affected you for so long.

So I'm gonna ask you as you leave today, there's gonna be people in the patio from the care department, stop by and see if you need help.

They will be so happy to receive and help you take your next best step.

So you have my friend whom I shared about in the beginning who was abused in third grade.

He gets to walk with God every day.

And I have seen him seek help.

I've been on a mission trip with him.

And as he's worked with God, God has given him confidence.

And he is rewriting his script today.

He is bold in Christ, he's loving, he's caring, he extends grace to others, and now leads other men and couples groups.

A few months ago, I called my brother, my big brother.

He's my half brother, he lives in Hamosa Beach.

He is my half brother, okay?

And I called him on his birthday and he said something to me that I didn't realize I needed.

He said to me, I am so proud of you and how God is using you at one and all.

You have done our family proud.

My heart almost skipped a bit because that is something I wish I had heard my dad say to me.

It was so amazing that he said that to me and he took the place of my dad and he spoke life into me.

Something I did not know that I really needed.

See, if you choose to partner with God, how many positive scripts shall we hear about?

Imagine how many relationships will be restored because we've allowed God to work in us and through us.

So the question that I have for you today, What negative scripts are killing your relationships?

What thoughts or behaviors from your family of origin are killing you?

What earthquake events do you need to talk about?

How is your walk with God?

and what is your next step in order to overcome all these things?

And I hope today your eyes have been opened because God wants your relationships to thrive.

Lord Jesus, we thank you for today.

We thank you for your word that's true.

We thank you for the life of Joseph that shows us how we can overcome negative scripts in our lives.

We pray, God, today that you break any chains that have held any captives.

We pray that today you open our eyes to see the things in our families that affect us, and we pray that you will set us free and help us to live a positive life, bringing healing to those around us.

In Jesus' name we pray, and everybody said, amen.