It's up one and all.

Hey, one of the axioms we have around here at one and all is we invest in ourselves in order that we might invest in other people.

And one of the best investments that you can make is by getting your little booty over to LeadCon.

I'm serious.

Like I was a little skeptical last year.

First time we did it, church leadership conference.

But this is a place, whether you're a single mom trying to lead a household, You're a small business owner.

You're leading a small group.

This is a place where you can get invested in and the investment will have an impact for the rest of the year.

So somehow, some way, make sure to get signed up for LeadCon.

You can go to oneandall.church slash LeadCon and get signed up or better yet on any one of our campuses today, head on out to the patio and get signed up.

Sound good?

Sweet.

Well, today we are launching into a brand new series titled built different.

And over the course of the next three weeks, we're going to take a look at three of the most important relationships this side of eternity.

Today, we're going to talk about dating relationships.

Next week, we're going to talk about marriage relationships.

And in week three, we're going to talk about the relationships we have with our kids, our parenting relationships.

Now, some of you, you might step back and think, I don't know if this series is really for me.

Here's what you need to understand.

This series is much less about dating and marriage and parenting and so much more about discipleship.

It's about the kind of people that Jesus is building us to be.

In fact, that's why we've called this series Built Different.

How many of you have ever heard someone described as built different?

Like, man, he or she, they are just built different.

You guys heard that?

I think of like athletes who just refuse to quit.

Like Michael Jordan.

Game three of the 1997 NBA finals.

He caught a case of the flu, and yet he chose to play anyways.

During timeouts, he can barely stand.

Scottie Pippen, his teammate, has to hold him up.

But somehow, someway, dude scores 38 points and leads his team to victory over the Utah Jazz.

Man, Michael Jordan, he was just built different.

And then I think of teachers, especially public school teachers.

I think of Curtis Bates.

Curtis Bates was a strong black man from Alabama.

During his youth, he had fire hoses shot at him.

He had dogs attack him.

He had the scars to prove it.

Somewhere along the line, he made his way up to the Pacific Northwest, and for nearly 40 years, he invested in the lives of middle school students.

He had thousands of students.

I was one of his students.

And what made him so special is even though he had so many students, he made you feel like the most important one.

Mr.

Bates was just built different.

And then sometimes I think of power couples, those couples that have been married decades, 30, 40, 50 years.

I think of Richard and Elaine Lucas.

Richard and Elaine Lucas are a part of our church family here.

They've been married 61 years.

years.

Incredible.

Richard, he's been the chairman of our board of elders.

Elaine has held pretty much every single title known to man on our staff.

She's been it.

She's done it.

And what's so crazy is the kingdom impact they've had.

And most of it's been behind the scenes.

I don't know if you know this, but decades ago when our church was going through a tumultuous time, Richard and Elaine took out a second mortgage on their house just to keep our church afloat.

And now look where we're at.

30, 40 years later, we're not just here in this room, we're in two other rooms as well.

In fact, this is being broadcast all across the world.

And what if Richard and Elaine had never made that sacrifice?

Talk about kingdom impact.

Talk about a power couple.

Talk about a couple that is built different.

Richard and Elaine?

They're just built different.

I don't know if you know this, but Jesus actually calls us to be built different as well.

Not because we're better than anybody else, but simply because we've surrendered our lives to a different builder.

It was about 15, 16 years ago, my buddy Kyle called me up and he said, hey, I got a new Ikea Entertainment Center.

Could you come over for just a little bit and help me put this thing together?

And you know, you know, when he said just a little bit, I knew what I was getting myself into.

When he said that, I knew he meant, hey, Rory, would you sacrifice your entire Saturday?

But I'm a good friend.

And so I go over and there's this big box and we open the box and it's like a lumberyard has exploded.

all over Kyle's living room floor.

And we look at it and we're like, oh my goodness, look at all these things.

This is nuts.

There's boards, there's brackets, there's plastic bags with tiny screws.

There's these pieces that look almost identical, but they're not identical.

It was the devil's work.

And then there were these three, count them, three instruction booklets.

Not one, three.

And they had no words, just cute, smiling stick figures that were putting furniture together with ease.

And so Kyle, he gets the booklets and he starts looking at them and then he looks at me and then he looks at them and then he looks at me and he says, you know what, we don't need these and he throws them on the couch.

I said, Kyle, why don't we need these?

And he said, because we're men.

Confidence was not his problem.

Competence maybe, but confidence, no.

Well, we start building.

And three hours and 43 minutes later, we had something.

I don't know exactly what it was.

One drawer opened, the other had entered witness protection.

It leaned, one leg was going this way.

I mean, to be honest, it was an absolute hot mess.

So we start working on it.

And then after another hour of trying to fix it, Kyle grabs the instructions and he looks at me and says, you know what, maybe we should just start over.

I learned something so much bigger than furniture that day.

I learned this, beautiful things aren't built by accident.

They're built according to a blueprint.

Beautiful things aren't built by accident.

They're built according to a blueprint.

And that's especially true when it comes to dating.

But there's a problem.

See, somewhere along the way, culture has convinced us that we could throw away God's blueprint and still expect God's results.

And then we're surprised.

We're surprised when relationships wobble, when trust fractures, when commitment, commitment feels fragile and hearts get broken.

But maybe it's not that love is broken.

Maybe we've just ignored the blueprint.

And so that's why we're going to open God's word today.

Not because the Bible is some outdated rule book, but because it reveals the heart of the designer.

And today we're going to look at God's design for dating.

Now, some of you Bible scholars are and go, God's design.

for dating.

Dating didn't even exist in Jesus' time, and you'd be right.

However, in Genesis, God created Adam and Eve.

He created relationship.

In fact, in and of himself, he is a community of unity, Father, Son, Holy Spirit.

He created relationships.

He is a relational being.

So if he created relationships, don't you think he would know how they would flourish?

And so what we're going to look at today are some timeless truths from Scripture.

that are gonna help us not only in our dating life, but in our discipleship.

So this is where I say it's important to grab something to take notes with, whether that's a pen and paper or whether you're following along on the One and All app.

Write some things down because what you write down, you're more likely to recall later.

We're gonna have three points.

Here's the first one.

When it comes to dating, we need to stop searching and start becoming.

Stop searching.

and start becoming.

Raise your hand if you're single here today.

You're single.

Yeah, wave it all around like you just don't care.

Hey, okay.

All right, my guess is somewhere, some of you have an Excel spreadsheet.

It's color-coded.

It's got conditional formatting.

It's got pivot tables.

It's the list.

And you know the list I'm talking about.

Like my man, my man is going to love Jesus.

My man is going to be six foot three.

My man is going to be 23 years old, not 22, not 24.

He is going to make six figures.

He's gonna like every Netflix show I do.

The list.

Now, I love a list.

In fact, I think you should have your standards.

I think you should know your standards and you should make them known.

I love the list.

But what if, before we start searching for Mr.

Right or Mrs.

Right, what if we started becoming everything that God created us to be?

And if you're in a season of singleness right now, I need you to understand something.

This is not a season to endure.

No, this is a season to dive wholeheartedly into a relationship with Jesus.

This season of singleness is actually a gift from God.

Here's what Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 7, verses seven and eight.

Paul says, I wish that all of you were as I am.

What is Paul?

Paul is single.

He says, I wish you were single as I am.

Then he continues to say, but each of you has your own gift from God.

One has this gift, another has that.

In just two verses, Paul is saying, one, I wish that you were all single.

And then he says, your singleness is actually a gift from God.

20 verses later, check out what he says.

He says, those who marry will face many troubles in this life, amen?

Amen Woo Wow The late great street poet Christopher Wallace, a.k.a.

Biggie Smalls, once wrote, Mo' money, mo' problems.

This father of four, husband to one, can attest to this fact, Mo' people, mo' problems.

There are more schedules to manage, more emotions to navigate.

Guys, I have twin daughters who are 10.

I have a 12-year-old and I have a 14-year-old. Can you imagine the hormones in my house right now?

It's a lot.

It's a lot.

Well, Paul continues.

He then, 20 verses later, speaks specifically to the men.

He says, I would like you to be free from concern, the concern of marriage.

He says, an unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs, how he can please the Lord.

But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world, how he can please his wife, and his interests are divided.

Then he speaks to the women.

An unmarried woman is concerned about the Lord's affairs.

Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit.

But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world, how she can please her husband.

I am saying this.

for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.

Here's the big idea.

Singleness is a gift from God, not merely a season to endure.

Singleness offers unique freedom for wholehearted devotion to Christ and an opportunity for extreme kingdom impact.

I think of some amazing single people.

There's this gal who lived about 50 years ago.

Her name was Henrietta Mears.

She was the director of Christian education just down the road at Hollywood Presbyterian Church.

She loved God's word.

She poured herself into God's word and then she loved personally discipling young people.

She loved God's word so much that she started to write books about God's word.

One of her books called you All About the Bible sold 3 million copies.

And like I said, she loved personally discipling young people.

One of those young people, Billy Graham.

Another young person, a guy named Bill Bright and his wife.

Bill Bright and his wife went on to found Campus Crusade for Christ.

Since its inception, 45 million people have met Jesus. But here's what's really cool.

Not only did Henrietta...

invest in the lives of Bill and his wife, she helped them build this amazing framework called the Four Spiritual Laws.

Maybe you've heard of it.

It's an evangelism tool that walks people through the Bible and leads them to make a decision for Christ.

That tool has been used millions of times over.

And who helped shape it?

A sweet old lady named Henrietta Mears who never married but invested her time in the next generation.

and invested her time in God's word.

Another person, C.S.

Lewis.

He didn't get married till he was 58 years old.

All of his major works, mere Christianity, the abolition of man, the screw tape letters, even the Chronicles of Narnia, all written before he got married.

He didn't waste that season of singleness.

He stepped in and he leveraged his relationship with Jesus to make a massive kingdom impact.

Again, what are we saying?

Singleness is not a waiting room for marriage.

It is a valid calling.

Singleness is not some second-rate form of Christianity.

It's a gift from God.

But some of you are saying, I don't want that gift.

And I get it.

Paul also says in 1 Corinthians chapter 7, he says, but if your heart burns with passion for somebody else, it's not a sin to get married.

That's cool too.

But before you start walking that road of dating, courtship, and marriage, First, start becoming everything that God has called you to be.

2 Timothy 2, verse 22, Paul writes, flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.

Now, at first glance, this doesn't seem like a dating verse, and that's because it isn't.

Paul is writing to someone.

who is serving as a pastor in Ephesus.

His name is Timothy.

And Ephesus, it was one of the largest and most influential cities in the Roman Empire.

In fact, it gave Rome a run for its money.

It was wealthy.

It was powerful.

It was spiritually confused.

The temple of Artemis, it dominated the skyline.

It was one of the seven wonders of the ancient world.

And immorality was not hidden on its step.

Idol worship.

craziness happening in that temple.

And what you need to understand is Timothy was trying to follow Jesus in this culture that was pulling him in the opposite direction.

Does that sound familiar?

Yeah.

But watch what Paul does.

He doesn't tell Timothy, hey, why don't you just go find some better people to pastor?

Just go somewhere else.

No, instead he says, instead become A different kind of man.

And then Paul gives him two commands.

Not 10, just two.

He says, flee and pursue.

Flee and pursue.

And these two commands, they belong together.

See, the Christian life isn't just about running from sin.

That's part of it.

But it's also about running towards Jesus.

And Paul says, flee youthful passions, lust, greed, that kind of stuff.

Then he says, Pursue righteousness.

The Greek word translated pursue is the word dioko.

It's an incredibly vivid word.

It was used to describe Olympic athletes stretching towards the finish line.

It was used to describe soldiers chasing down the enemy.

It was used to describe hunters refusing to stop until they found what they were after.

Paul is saying, Timothy, don't just hope that you'll become godly.

Chase godliness down.

Hunt it, go after it, because nobody drifts towards Christ.

We drift towards comfort, convenience.

We drift towards whatever's easiest.

Nobody accidentally becomes patient or faithful or humble.

Nobody accidentally becomes more like Jesus.

No, those things, they are pursued, chased down.

They're hunted.

One decision, one surrender, one act of obedience at a time.

In our culture, it's going to say, find the right person.

But God would say to you today, no, become the right person.

Because before God prepares someone for you, he's preparing you for someone.

So you might be here and you might ask, well, how?

How can I become more like Jesus?

How can I become everything that he wants me to be?

There's this old children's ministry song, and it goes like this.

The answer is so simple, it's almost stupid.

Read your Bible, pray every day, and you will grow, Read your Bible and pray every day, and you will grow, If you wanna know how to change and become everything that God has created you to be, the simplest answer I can think of is read your Bible and pray every day.

Can I tell you something that I hate?

I hate when people say, he will never change.

Or she will never change.

And the reason I hate it is because it's a lie from the pit of hell.

It is actually antithetical to the gospel.

Jesus does want to change us.

In fact, that's why he stepped off his throne and entered into this human world.

That's why he lived a life we could not live, the perfect sinless life.

That's why he died a death we could not die as our perfect sinless sacrifice.

That's why Jesus went to the grave, rose again, defeated Satan, sin, and death, And then...

40 days later, he said, I'm going to send a helper.

And he sends a helper.

And that helper is the Holy Spirit.

What does the Holy Spirit do?

It changes you from the inside out.

The Holy Spirit is the same spirit that rose Christ from the grave.

Don't you think that's enough power to change little old you?

Don't you think that's enough power to help you flee from sin?

Don't you think that's enough power to help you pursue righteousness?

Yes.

So the Holy Spirit can change you.

And if you engage in God's word, which is the primary way he speaks to us, he will start changing you.

The Holy Spirit will start speaking to you.

What I love about opening God's word is that you don't just read it, it reads you.

It reads your circumstance.

It reads your situation.

He does.

When you think you're reading it, no, it's reading you.

And God speaks to you.

And he will nudge you.

And he'll say, hey, I need you to change this.

I need you to go here.

And he'll start giving you his eyes to see the world with.

And you'll start hearing things the way he hears them.

And then you'll start moving the way he wants you to move.

Now, rumor is that people don't like reading anymore.

The stats are like, hey, no one cracks open a Bible.

I don't care how you get God's word in you.

Somehow, some way, you got to get it in you.

So if that means turn your Toyota into a tabernacle, do it.

Do it.

There's a free YouVersion Bible app.

Press play, listen to the gospels.

Find a good Bible podcast, listen to it.

Put on worship music and have God's word sung over your life.

Here's what's crazy.

There was a study recently and they said, if you would take one year and you will redeem that time, you will redeem your commute.

You will give that time over to God, whether through worship music, Bible podcasts, sermons.

If you give them one year, that is the equivalent of a four year bachelor's degree.

Why would you not do that?

Invest in yourself so that you can invest in others.

If you want to change from the inside out, allow God to have that time.

And in one year's time, I promise you, you will look radically different.

So read your Bible, get God's word in you somehow, some way.

And then number two, just pray.

And you don't have to do anything fancy.

You don't have to fold your hands a certain way.

Don't you have to close your eyes.

You don't have to have a hat on or a hat off.

You don't have to be on your knees.

All of those things are great and wonderful, but you don't have to.

Prayer is simply communicating with your heavenly father.

It's communicating with your creator saying, hey God, and don't forget, he's not some like vending machine in the sky who just wants to give you things all the time.

Yes, he's a good father.

He does want to give you good gifts, but it's just not you just talking at him.

The most important thing about prayer is shutting up.

Shut up.

and listen, and that still, small voice will speak to you.

And if you listen and do what he says, your life is going to change.

Stop searching, start becoming.

Single people, don't waste this season of singleness.

Married people, one of the greatest gifts you can give your spouse is a holier version of you next year than the version they got.

this year.

Never stop becoming.

Just continue to step in.

Parents and grandparents, your children are watching.

More is caught than taught.

Do they catch you reading God's word?

Do they catch you praying at the dinner table?

Do they catch you?

They're watching and they're becoming too.

Never stop becoming.

Point number one, stop searching, start becoming.

Point number two, When it comes to dating, don't date projects.

Also known as choose wisely.

Don't date projects.

Choose wisely.

Proverbs chapter four, verse 23.

Solomon says, above all else, guard your heart for everything you do flows from it.

So Solomon, if you didn't know, he's actually talking to his son.

And he's passing on the kind of wisdom that only comes from years of victories, failures, and walking with God.

And he says, above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.

And what Solomon's actually do is he's painting a picture in his son's head.

See, in Solomon's day, every city was surrounded by massive walls with guarded gates.

And those gates weren't there just to keep people out.

They also determined who got in because everyone who gained access had influence.

Friends came through those gates.

Merchants came through those gates.

But if the wrong people came through those gates, the whole city could fall.

And so that's why they didn't hand out access to everyone.

Instead, they guarded it.

And your heart, it works the same way.

Whoever gets access, Access eventually gets influence.

And whoever gets influence will eventually shape your future.

So don't confuse being loving with leaving the gates wide open.

Listen to this.

Your heart isn't a public park.

It is a protected city.

And not everyone deserves a key.

So, ladies, if you ever hear a man use anything remotely close to these pickup lines, Do not give them a key, flee.

If Rico Suave shows up one day and says, hey girl, are you a magician?

Because every time I look at you, everyone else disappears.

Don't give them a key, flee.

If Bobby Smooth Talk walks up and says, are you a parking ticket?

Because you got fine written all over you.

Don't give them a key, flee.

If Deacon Dreamboat shows up at church and says, hey girl, I was reading the book of Numbers and I realized I don't have yours.

Don't give him a key, flee.

The most important decision outside of choosing Jesus is choosing your spouse.

That's why it is.

vital that we use wisdom.

And what I want to do right now is give you two wise questions to ask before you start dating.

The first one is this, does this person's life show the fruit of the spirit?

Does this person's life show the fruit of the spirit?

One of the biggest mistakes people make is what we call missionary dating.

That's the idea that you can start dating someone hoping you'll eventually change them and make them love God.

We'll all get them to church.

I'll help them love Jesus.

Once we're married, then things will be different.

Can I tell you something?

You are not the Holy Spirit.

Your job isn't to transform someone.

Your job is to discern whether God is already transforming them.

So don't date someone hoping they'll become who you need them to be.

Date someone who is already becoming.

who God called them to be.

Repeat after me.

We don't date projects.

One more time.

We don't date projects.

So before you start dating or before you get serious, ask yourself the question, does this person's life show the fruit of the spirit?

What is the fruit of the spirit?

Galatians chapter five, 22 and 23, it says, the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, Patience, kindness.

Goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

Notice, Paul didn't say the fruit of the Spirit is six-pack, perfect hair, a great smile, and a lifted truck.

Apparently, Jesus has different dating standards than TikTok.

So when you look at their life, don't just ask, are they attractive?

That's part of it, for sure.

But ask, is there evidence of the Holy Spirit in their life?

Is the Holy Spirit changing them?

Because none of us are perfect, and that's not the question.

The question is, is there fruit?

Are they growing in love, patience, kindness, goodness?

Are they growing in that?

Again, it's not about perfection, but it is about direction.

Some of you, you're dating the person they could become instead of the person they consistently are.

Well, he has so much potential.

So does a lottery ticket.

Potential doesn't make someone faithful.

Potential doesn't make someone honest.

Potential doesn't make someone love Jesus.

No, patterns do.

So don't date potential.

Date patterns.

Date consistency.

Is there fruit in their lives?

Question number two.

Does this person draw me closer to Jesus?

Does this person draw me closer to Jesus?

Do you love Jesus more when you're with them?

Or do you find yourself compromising more?

Now, here's what I've learned.

Nobody dates in neutral.

Every relationship has a direction.

You're either pulling each other towards Christ or you're slowly drifting away from him.

Paul says this in 1 Corinthians chapter 15.

He says, do not be deceived.

Bad company corrupts good character.

Notice.

He doesn't say bad company annoys good character.

No, he said it corrupts it.

That's because relationships are never just influential.

They're formative.

You actually become like the people you are close to.

So who are you becoming?

Some of you, you have.

You've spent more time praying and serving and pursuing God while you've been dating and praise Jesus.

That's awesome.

But others of you, you used to be in church every week.

You used to read your Bible.

You used to serve.

Now your spiritual life.

Depends on whether your boyfriend or girlfriend feels like getting up on Sunday.

And that's not love.

That's drift.

Here's the question.

When you are around them, do you become more like Jesus or just more like them?

Because the right person won't compete with your relationship with Christ.

They'll actually encourage it.

So, what have we talked about so far?

We've talked about becoming the right person, talked about choosing the right person, and now lastly I want to talk about protecting the relationship that God is building.

Point number three, don't play house.

Don't play house.

And I'll acknowledge it, this is probably the least popular thing that we're going to say today.

Our culture says move in together.

Try marriage before marriage.

See if you're compatible.

But if we're following Jesus, are we taking our cues from culture or are we taking them from Christ?

Genesis chapter 2 verse 24 says, That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife and then they become one flesh.

Did you catch the order?

Leave, cleave, be united, become one.

The covenant.

comes before intimacy, not the other way around.

Now, people ask, why are Christians so against living together before marriage?

And I'll answer it.

It's not because Christians are anti-sex, not at all.

In fact, we're gonna talk about that next week.

Hey, it's because God is pro-covenant.

And if you're new to church, you might be wondering, what is a covenant?

Here's the simplest way I can explain it.

Think about bacon and eggs.

Bacon and eggs.

The chicken made a contribution.

The pig made a commitment.

That's covenant.

Covenant is this promise, this contract.

Say, I am going all in.

That's covenant.

God isn't trying to keep something from you.

He's actually trying to protect something for you.

Because intimacy wasn't designed to create commitment.

It was designed to celebrate commitment.

Playing house reverses God's design.

It gives you many of the privileges of marriage without making the promise of marriage.

You share a bed, you share bills, you share a Costco membership, but you never actually have stood before God and said, I'm.

All in.

People will say, well, we're basically married.

No, you're not.

You're basically dating with a lease agreement.

Marriage isn't sharing an address.

Marriage is making a covenant promise.

So what does it look like to not play house?

It means creating boundaries.

I'm gonna share with you three.

Number one is this.

You've gotta pre-decide your God-honoring boundaries.

Don't decide your boundaries at midnight in the backseat of a car.

When do you decide your boundaries?

You decide them at 2 p.m.

in the afternoon at the coffee shop.

That's when you decide your boundaries.

The truth is healthy couples don't make God-honoring decisions during temptation.

They make them before temptation ever occurs, okay?

Number two, don't date alone.

You're a middle school, high school student, date in groups.

You guys get alone, I promise you, you're going to make stupid decisions.

There's too many hormones going on.

It's just part of the deal.

But as you get older, young adult age, you're starting to date someone, you're trying to take it more seriously, you could actually get married and put a roof over your head and have food on the table.

Here's what I encourage you.

Get a wiser couple around you, a couple who loves Jesus and a couple who will ask you the hard questions.

Get them around you.

That wisdom, man, it's amazing.

It's so helpful.

The truth is private dating decisions often have public consequences, but healthy relationships, they don't hide.

They invite accountability.

So invite accountability into your dating relationship.

And last is this, don't act married until you're married.

Don't share a bed.

Don't share a lease.

Don't combine bank accounts.

Don't play house before you started to build the home.

People always ask, how far is too far?

That is such the wrong question.

The right question is, how can we best honor God?

And if someone continually pressures you to compromise, They're telling you something.

Well, if you really love me, you would.

That's not love.

That's manipulation.

Real love.

Never ask someone to dishonor God in order to prove their love.

So let me say one more thing.

Some of you, you're here today and you're listening to this and you know you've already messed up.

You've made mistakes and you wish you could go backwards and make different decisions.

And what I need you to hear is this.

The gospel.

is not about yesterday.

The gospel is about what's happening today and forward.

Jesus came, he lived, he died.

He put your sin and your shame on his shoulders.

He did die, he was buried, he rose again.

In so doing, he shows that he has power over sin, those wrong decisions, those missteps.

And he says, if you'll pay...

put your faith, your hope, your trust in me, your past is thrown away as far as the east is from the west.

Today, you can change.

You can change.

My buddy Craig told me that last night I needed to insert this story, so we'll end with this story.

The whole idea is stop searching, start becoming.

I graduated from college summa cum laude, 4.0.

Thought I was the man.

Got a real nice job out of college.

Six months into my job, I show up one day and I don't have a job anymore.

I'm from Seattle, I've moved to Colorado Springs, I'm working for these two radio programs and show up and I don't have a job.

And I'm devastated, I'm heartbroken, but I think, you know what?

I'm gonna move back home and I'm gonna get my life right and I had job opportunities up there, I'll find something.

So I move back home and there's this little thing called the recession.

Anybody remember that?

So I go back home and it's in the midst of the recession and I can't find any work.

And at this time I'm so down and depressed and dejected.

There's like nothing to be found.

Then one day, no money in my pocket, don't even have enough money to pay for my cell phone bill, like living with my parents, I'm walking past this little restaurant called Matt's Gourmet Hot Dogs.

And there's a little sign on the door.

It has a little gif of a little dancing hot dog.

out there and it says $20 and what they needed was someone to put on a styrofoam hot dog costume and go dance out on the corner and try to drum up business.

So I didn't have a job.

I'm dejected and depressed.

I'm not going to church, kind of falling away from that.

And so I say, you know what?

Let me go put on that costume.

And so for the next six months, for the next six months, on the corner of 124th and Kirkland, Washington.

You would find me in that styrofoam costume, shaking my little tail feathers, waving people to go getting some hot dogs, doing my thing.

And for the first month or so, I would just put on my little iPod and listen to my tunes.

And then one day, I don't know what it was.

I got to believe it was actually the Holy Spirit.

See, I had some, I had an awesome youth ministry I grew up in, but there was some craziness at church and I just kind of fell away from the church.

And I felt someone speak to me.

I know it's God.

Hey, you need to start getting...

God's word back in your life.

And so in that little styrofoam costume, there's this newfangled thing called a podcast and podcasts are free.

And remember I had no money back in that day, you had to pay 99 cents for a song and I didn't have any money to pay for any more songs.

So I got the free podcast and I started just listening to sermon after And then I started listening to worship music connected to those sermons.

And, and after a little while, God's word was continually just being spoken over my life and, and, and hours a day, just immersed in God's word and just dancing and trying to do the very best in that styrofoam costume.

And then one day I felt God's spirit prompt me, say, hey, you got to get connected back to church.

And so I decided to go back to the church I grew up at.

And I showed up to the youth ministry and I just, hey, is there, is there anything I can do?

Can I stack chairs?

Can I, like, what can I do?

And I did.

I just started stacking chairs.

And then one day someone asked me at the end of a service, hey, would you pray for our little team huddle here?

And so I prayed and someone said, wow, yeah.

You have a way with words.

And that started a conversation.

And then two months later, the high school youth pastor said, Hey, why don't you come speak at our high school camp?

And I went, you are smoking crack, what?

Like, I don't know how to do that.

He says, no, I really feel God's spirit telling me you're supposed to come and speak at our high school camp.

And this was a big mega church.

This was like, they would fly people in.

Why would you have this 21 year old come?

I'm a dancing hot dog.

You're gonna have the dancing hot dog speak at your youth camp.

Will we go?

I don't know what I'm doing.

I took Rick Warren's Purpose Driven Life, and I just basically read it for the entire week.

I was like, here's the sermon, guys.

Open to page three.

And we would just go.

And God showed up that week.

And then that one week turned into an internship.

And then that internship turned into a role on the youth ministry team.

And then that role a year later turned into an opportunity where I was hosting a Sunday night service.

And then there was this cute girl who was also following Jesus.

And she showed up and then she started hanging out at a little small group party we were having afterwards.

And guys, my life changed.

The picture I'm trying to paint is, in a very short amount of time, your life can change.

All of that took place within about a year.

But I stopped searching for Mrs.

Right and I just started becoming everything that Jesus wanted me to be.

I just got into his word and I tried my best to listen to what he had to say.

And my life radically changed.

I'm telling you, if you will just get in God's word somehow, some way, if you will speak to him and be quiet enough to listen and do what he asked you to do, and that still small voice speaks to you and prompts you to do it, just go do it.

I promise he will open up doors.

It's not going to be all sunshine and rainbows.

I'm not trying to paint that picture, but it will be awesome.

It will be an adventure.

Your life will change.

So the encouragement today, if you're single, don't.

waste the season of singleness.

Stop searching.

Start becoming.

And as you start becoming, God is going to open up doors.

If your passion, your desire is to have a spouse one day, trust him in his timing.

He will open that door, become everything that he's created you to be.

And when you get to that season, man, choose wisely.

Don't date projects.

No.

Is there the fruit of the spirit?

Does this person make me more like Jesus?

And then honor him.

Honor the blueprint.

Don't Play house.

God has a design for your life.

Honor his covenant.

Honor him and he will lift you up.

Will you pray with me?

Lord Jesus, thank you for your living and active word.

Thank you that it's sharper than a two-edged sword.

Thank you that it speaks to us.

Lord, my honest prayer is that this weekend, this weekend that there would be people who are in relationships they know they shouldn't be in.

I pray that you would give them the guts to lovingly break up and follow you.

And for others in this place, they're in God-honoring relationships.

They're choosing you.

Lord Jesus, I pray that there would be some people after the end of this three weeks who would decide to get married.

There would be a lot of proposals happening here at One and All Church.

God-honoring couples who want to pursue you with everything that they have.

Lord, I pray that that would happen as well.

And Lord Jesus, I pray that you would just meet people where they're at.

All of us in this place, we never stop becoming.

So Lord, by the power of your spirit, would you help us become everything that you have called us to be?

Whether we're single, married, whether we're grandparents, whatever it looks like, Lord Jesus, would you help us become the people that you want us to be?

Help us invest in ourselves so that we can invest in others and bring up there, down here for people.

Jesus, we love you.

And it's in your name we pray.

And everybody said, amen.