When Joseph’s brothers had seen that their father was dead, they said, ‘What if Joseph holds a grudge against us and pays us back in full for all the wrong which we did to him!’ So they sent instructions to Joseph, saying, ‘Your father commanded us before he died, saying, ‘This is what you shall say to Joseph: ‘Please forgive, I beg you, the offense of your brothers and their sin, for they did you wrong.’ And now, please forgive the offense of the servants of the God of your father.’ And Joseph wept when they spoke to him. Then his brothers also came and fell down before him and said, ‘Behold, we are your servants.’ But Joseph said to them, ‘Do not be afraid, for am I in God’s place? As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good in order to bring about this present result, to keep many people alive. So therefore, do not be afraid; I will provide for you and your little ones.’ So he comforted them and spoke kindly to them.

-Genesis 50:15-21

What emotion do you sense in the brothers’ statement?

  

Why all the emotion?

Family of Origin is the family that raised you and its immediate relations.

  

Jesus may be in your heart but Grandpa is in your bones.

-Pete Scazzero

Negative Scripts

   

A negative script is an internalized message from the past that shapes our conscious and unconscious behaviours in the present.

-Pete Scazzero

Family of Origin

   

Joseph's Family of Origin - (The Patriarch's Behavior)

4 Major Negative behaviors:

1. Significant Lies

Negative script: Lying keeps the family together / Gets you ahead / keeps you safe

2. Manipulation

Negative script: Trickery / Manipulation gets your agenda accomplished

3. Favoritism

Negative script for the unfavored: I am of no value

Negative script for the favored: I am more important than anyone else

4. Cut Offs

Negative script: I am not loved enough / I will never be fully accepted

Michael’s negative script: I am not valuable enough for my father’s love.

Dan is a highly accomplished doctor who earns a very good salary. He also serves on the church board. He struggles with perfectionism and workaholism which hurts his relationships both at work and church. One day when he was 10, he came home with an A on his report card and he was punished by his father for not getting an A+. His dad sat Dan in his room and drilled him on the vocabulary words since that is where he got two answers wrong.

-Pete Scazzero

Dan's negative script: Get it right all the time and don't make mistakes.

  

Earthquake Events

  

Earthquake Events are huge incidents that happen to us at age 12 and under or age 17 -that cause negative view of life and relationships.

Negative internalized messages from our family of origin or from earthquake events will become relationship killers.

  

How do we deal with negative scripts?

1. Walk with God

The LORD was with Joseph, so he became a successful man.

-Genesis 39:2

But the LORD was Joseph and extended kindness to him,...

-Genesis 39:21

LORD = JEHOVAH (in Hebrew) YHWY + ELOHIM = relational God

JEHOVAH is the name God uses when He wants to reveal Himself to you. He wants to get closer to you in relationship.

-Tony Evans

  

Just because you have given your life to Jesus does not mean you are walking with Him.

  

Therefore as you have received Christ as Lord, so walk in Him

-Colossians 2:6

Now Enoch lived sixty-five years, and fathered Methuselah. Then Enoch walked with God three hundred years after he fathered Methuselah, and he fathered other sons and daughters. So all the days of Enoch were 365 years. Enoch walked with God; and he was not, for God took him.

-Genesis 5:21-24 (NASB)

When Enoch was 65 years old, he became the father of Methuselah. After the birth of Methuselah, Enoch lived in close fellowship with God for another 300 years, and he had other sons and daughters. Enoch lived 365 years, walking in close fellowship with God. Then one day he disappeared, because God took him.

-Genesis 5:21-24 (NLT)

Do you want to just live? Or do you want to walk with God?

  

Your relationship with God cannot be reduced to one hour on the weekend.

-Jeff Vines

Because Joseph walked with God, Jehovah turned his life around.

Instead of killing his brothers, he invited them into a new relationship with him

God will re-write your script if you choose to live a loving union.

  

How is your devotional life? Do you have one? Are you in a community group?

    

2. Admit family Failures and losses

But out of his honest grieving of pain, he truly forgave and was able to forgive his brothers who betrayed him.

-Pete Scazzero

Blaming your family for your problems will never help.

  

How do you admit failures and losses?

Pete Scazzaro says:

• Do Genogram work.
• Ask questions like; How would you describe your parents marriage? How was conflict handled? How well did your family do talking about their feeling? What was considered success? What addictions existed? What traumatic losses affected your family etc?

   

3. Partner with God to bless others in your relationships

  

But Joseph said to them, ‘Do not be afraid, for am I in God’s place? As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good to bring about [n]this present result, to keep many people alive. So, do not be afraid; I will provide for you and your little ones.’ So he comforted them and spoke kindly to them.

-Genesis 50:19-21

Joseph had clearly developed a secret history over along period of time in his relationship with God. His whole life was structured around following…the God of Israel. Then when the moment came for a critical decision, he was ready. In the same way, there are daily choices centered around our own walks with God that are critical for us to serve as an instrument of blessing to many.

-Pete Scazzero

How can you be a blessing?

  

4. Counseling

  

What negative scripts are you carrying today?

  

What negative scripts are killing your relationships?

  

  

  

  

What are your main takeaways from this message?

Make a Decision Care and Support Ministry