Hey, welcome.

We're so glad you're joining us for the last message of our series, Raising Faith.

It's been so good, and we're ready for week number four.

Yeah, and if you have your Bibles, bring them out, as well as download the One and All app so you can follow along on the Sermon Notes tab.

So, let's jump in.

The first thing that we do is we have a lot of people who are interested in learning about the language.

So we have a lot of people who are interested in learning about the language.

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And at first I didn't really get a good laugh at that because I think they thought I was serious, but believe me, I'm not serious.

Christ followers have an incredible objective before them in trying to raise our children to take on our faith and to live it out every day.

And we're trusting basically a verse in Proverbs.

Proverbs 22, 6, it says, Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he's old he will not fall from it.

But I also have to remind you that this is called a proverb.

A proverb is a perceived truth based on common sense.

So this isn't a promise or a covenant or somewhere that if we raise our children right, we're promised by the Spirit of God they will never walk away from the faith.

In fact, proverbs are more about warnings in their original context.

So what the scripture tells us is if you're not intentional in training In nurturing, correcting, disciplining your kids, chances are significant they will not maintain or carry on with your faith in the course of their lives.

So what we talk about at One and All is that we want to do all that we can, and then we want to hope and pray somehow that our children and everything that we've taught them will continue to walk with Jesus in relationship as they get older.

And we also know that chances increase significantly.

if there is direction and intention.

And I mean significantly, because the Bible does tell us that the Word will not return void, and that is a promise.

So when the Word gets into our children, there is something supernatural that will happen.

However, it's also important.

Some parents will beat themselves up because they'll feel like, well, my son or my daughter walked away from Jesus because I was a poor parent, or I didn't teach enough, or I didn't say the right things.

But you forget that...

Within the heart of every child is this mechanism called free will.

They get to decide whether they're going to walk with Jesus or reject Jesus.

You can do all the right things and you do increase significantly your chances, but you have no guarantee.

Part of the love scenario in which you and I live is that God gave us this free will mechanism in order that we would use it to pursue a relationship with him.

We've said that love is not real love and it can't maintain its integrity without freedom to choose love or reject love.

So you can do all the right things moms and dads, but still your child is going to have a choice to make.

So when they get out in the world, you hope that what you've done in teaching and training, correcting in discipline, whatever it is that you've done, you hope that that will carry with them through the course of their lives.

So, we come to a question now that is quite serious.

It's the question, what do you do when your children walk away from Jesus?

Because it does happen.

And let's, you know, I've made the promise at One and All years ago that I would not avoid the difficult questions.

One of my frustrations growing up in church was that I felt like that although we talked about things that were somewhat relevant to everyday life, when we came to the very difficult questions, I felt like the pastor never wanted to address them or answer the questions.

That somehow it was better just to avoid them and hope they went away.

And of course...

When you've got that 10% of the population who are trying to think things out on a very deep level, they have to come to some conclusion about questions like this.

So the reality is, we not only lose our child if we're honest with ourselves, if they walk away from Jesus, if we really believe what we say we believe, and we're really following Jesus, when a child, a son or daughter walks away from Christ, They're not only walking away from us in this world, but they're walking away from us in the next.

Because we will not be reunited or joined with them in the world that is to come.

My father-in-law has a very good understanding of this.

He's 85 years old.

And sometimes I will say to him, you know, you kind of live out that idea that the squeaky wheel gets the grease.

And what I mean by that, he seems to pay more attention to his grandchildren who are not believers than he does his grandchildren who are.

and he explained to me one time that he tries desperately not to do that, but he said, you also have to understand that because my grandchildren are not walking with Jesus, if I don't spend time with them here, I will never get to spend time with them in eternity.

Where my grandchildren who are walking with Jesus, I not only get to spend time with them here, but I will spend time with them throughout all of eternity.

That's a pretty mature way to look at it, but it's also somewhat intimidating and scary to think that some of our children and grandchildren...

We only have in this life, and we will never see them again.

Now, in answer to the question, what do you do when your children then walk away?

Because it's a pretty serious issue.

What do you do?

And I'm going to answer this question in what might seem to be a very strange way to you.

because I want to contextualize this into our present situation.

And I'm going to answer this question by answering another question.

And again, at first they're going to seem unrelated, but as the sermon goes, you're going to see how they fit together quite perfectly.

And the other question is this.

I get parents who ask me, what do I do when my children walk away from Jesus?

But I get a lot of questions these days from parents who say, should I attend my son's gay wedding?

Should I attend my grandson's gay wedding?

So this is something that's very popular in culture right now.

And to answer that question, I think.

Ultimately, it will answer the first question of what to do when your children walk away from Jesus.

So as usual, let's make sure we start with a biblical passage.

So I'm in Revelation 3, verse 12 through 17.

It's the letter that Jesus himself writes to the church at Pergamum.

This is how it goes.

I'm in verse 12 of chapter 3.

To the angel of the church in Pergamum write, these are the words of him who has the sharp double-edged sword.

I know where you live, where Satan has his throne, yet you remain true to my name.

You did not renounce your faith in me, not even in the days of Antipas, my faithful witness, who was put to death in your city where Satan lives.

Verse 14, Nevertheless, I have a few things against you.

There are some among you who hold to the teaching of Balaam, who taught Balak to entice the Israelites to sin so that they ate food sacrificed to idols and committed sexual immorality.

So there's a lot going on here, and the reason I've chosen this passage is because, remember, there are many theologians who believe that in understanding the letters written to the seven churches in Revelation, we're able to understand some of the tension that we're going to face as Christ's follower in and near the last days.

So Jesus gives the city of Pergamum an unusual designation.

We did a series last, I think it was last year, earlier this year maybe, called Deception.

in which we pointed out some of these truths, that Pergamon had a designation.

It was ultimately called the place of Satan's throne or where Satan's throne is.

Now, that's a horrible designation for a city.

If you and I think of New York, we think of the Statue of Liberty, San Francisco, the Golden Gate Bridge, Los Angeles.

That's where Hollywood is.

My friends down in Australia, you mentioned Sydney.

It's the Opera House, Brisbane, Steve Irwin Zoo, Cairns, the Great Barrier Reef.

Auckland is referred to as the City of Sails.

But how would you like...

The definition or defining point of your city to be the place of Satan's throne.

Last year, the year before, I was in Greece and Turkey, and I was able to visit places where the seven churches of Revelation existed.

And I had a particular interest in Pergamum because I was aware of this designation, the seed of Satan, but I wasn't sure completely what it meant.

Pergamum, I learned, was also known for its spectacular architecture and unfortunately, just like Ephesus that I also attended, the numerous, beautiful, extravagant temples dedicated to the foreign gods.

These four gods dominated the worship culture in the times of the New Testament.

You had Dionysus on the Acropolis.

Prominently situated was the temple of Dionysus, the supposed son of Zeus and a human mother.

Now according to the teaching of the Dionysus cult, followers would drink wine to excess, literally become intoxicated, and when they did, they would become one with the god of Dionysus.

Where the followers of Artemis in Ephesus were concerned, you worship God through sex.

But where Dionysus is concerned, you met him through intoxication.

And Dionysus'worship was so wild that actually it was outlawed in Rome because it was considered to be too immoral.

Second god, Asclepius.

Asclepius was the god in Pergamum that...

would give healing to those who would worship the God, or supposedly give healing.

So everyone who entered into the hospital complex passed by this snake symbol and would credit the healing they were about to receive to the snake God when they exited the building.

And in the building, this is a temple, they would lie down.

We refer to a hospital, but it was a temple slash hospital, because if you had an ailment, you would go in there, you would lay down, and they would allow...

hundreds of snakes to crawl over you.

And the idea was as they crawl over you, which would be enough to kill me right there, as they crawl over you, they would release their healing juices.

And then as you exit the pagan temple, they would inscribe your name on a white stone, and they would also inscribe the disease from which you had been healed.

In verse 17, Jesus says, whoever has ears, let them hear what the Spirit says of the churches.

To the one who is victorious, I will give some of the hidden manna, and I will also give the person a white stone with a new name written on it, known only to the one who receives it.

So Jesus says, the physical and spiritual healing for which you are searching is only found in me.

And the word victorious here means that these are people who refuse to go to the pagan temples to get something that only God could give.

And in that way, you were seen to be victorious.

The third god, Demeter, the goddess of grain, not much to say here except this was the god of produce and affluence.

So you would pay homage to this god through various immoral rituals and then you were told that if you did that, your barns would be full and your vats would be overflowing.

And then for and finally, and we put all this together, the Roman emperor, Caesar Augustus, was also considered to be a god.

Now in order...

This is important.

In order to trade, buy, sell, network, converse, socialize, everything was inside what we call the agora, the marketplace.

And in order to get into the marketplace, there were a few non-negotiables.

First of all, you had to burn incense to Caesar before you entered the agora.

That was like your ticket in to the marketplace, to buy, sell, and trade.

and then you had to confess with your mouth that Caesar is Lord and God, and you must acknowledge the power of all the Greek gods, and you did that by affirming that while you were attending the Agora, buying, selling, trading, whatever you were doing economically, at some point you would attend temple worship of the pagan gods, and you would sacrifice to these gods.

Refusal to do so...

meant great economic hardship.

You wouldn't be able to buy, sell, trade, get food.

And it also meant oftentimes your life because we have major situations where people died, especially Christ followers who refused to do these things.

In fact, still in Pergamum today, and I saw this firsthand, there's a statue of a man by the name of Antipas.

He refused in the name of Jesus Christ to bow down to Caesar, to eat the meat or drink the wine that had been sacrificed to the false gods.

or to participate in any kind of temple worship.

And so to make an example of this man, this Christian, this Christ follower, Antipas, the officials took him to the altar of Zeus, which will later be referred to as the seat of Satan.

So, it's this huge bronze bowl that they would heat to a temperature that would burn the flesh slowly and cause a torturous, painful death because you couldn't escape it.

They threw Antipas into this bowl, burned him alive so that all would know the penalty for refusing to worship the emperor.

And then to add insult to injury, the pagan priests would take the smoldering bones of Antipas, and they carved them into bracelets and wore them around their necks celebrating the sacrifice of Antipas.

to the gods.

Now, the seat of Satan to which Jesus refers is the altar of Zeus, the altar on which the people of God were burned and mocked.

because they would not compromise.

In fact, I've mentioned many times in Rodney Stark's book, The Rise of Christianity, the early church actually exploded because there was no compromise.

Now, that didn't mean that everybody didn't compromise, because we're going to learn in a moment, some did, and Jesus is going to have some pretty harsh words for them.

But those who avoided the appearance of evil, those who stood firm and refused, no matter what it cost them, culturally, socially, economically, those who stood firm were the very ones that those who had given up on the pagan worldview and system would come to in hopes of receiving something that was more compassionate and eternal.

So it cost them a lot in the immediate, but in the future the church exploded because of their commitment to their faith.

Now...

Paul's words to the church at Ephesus in relationship to pagan worship was very aggressive.

In Ephesians 5, verse 11, he says, So he says, you don't want even a fellowship of any kind with anything related to these pagan deities.

Eating the meat sacrificed to them, engaging in this intoxication, you don't want to be anywhere near this type of thing.

Verse 14, going back to what Jesus said to the church at Pergamum, he says, Nevertheless, I have a few things against you.

We need to understand what he says.

There are some of you who hold to the teaching of Balaam, who taught Balak to entice the Israelites to sin, so they ate food sacrificed to idols and committed sexual immorality.

So the question is, because Balaam's not a teacher, so what is the teaching of Balaam?

What is the example?

The story of Balaam is an interesting one.

Balaam had a prophetic gift given to him by God whereby he could speak blessing and curse over the people of Israel.

If he spoke blessing, blessing occurs.

If he spoke a curse, obviously informed by God, then God would send down the antithesis of blessing because of the sin of the people.

However, Balaam kind of got full of himself.

And as he did, he decided that he had this wonderful gift that could be used for personal gain.

So the king Balak...

who's an enemy of Israel, came to Balaam and offered him money to curse the children of Israel so that he could defeat them.

Now, according to the story, Balaam's thinking was something like this.

You know what?

I will call down the curse and I'll get the money because I know God will never curse his own people.

In other words, he says, I will do the act externally, but in my heart, I'll not grant the curse.

I'll go through the motions, but I'll have no intent.

So, as part of this process and story to convince Balak that he's serious about the curse, even though he's not, he solicits the Moabite women to go and seduce the Israelite men in order that a blasphemous union might be formed.

and that the Israelite men would actually end up externally, through intoxication, going and involving themselves in temple worship.

And again, you think, what on earth is Balaam thinking?

Well, he wants Balak to be convinced that he has cursed the children of Israel, and Balak will be convinced of that when he sees the Israelite men engaging in pagan worship, whether through intoxication or sexual immorality.

So he's thinking to himself, okay, I'm going to deliver the words of a curse outwardly, but I'm not going to do them on the inside.

And when the Israelite men are intoxicated and go into the temple, God won't hold them responsible for pagan worship because they were drunk when they did it.

Now, that is crazy thinking.

But evidently, Balaam's not thinking very well.

Now, how does all this relate to what's happening in Pergamum?

Well, to survive economically and to be able to enter into the Agora, some Christians were going through the motions on the outside even though inwardly they did not agree.

You with me?

Others, however, in other words, what you would do, you would burn the incense, you would go into the pagan temple, and you would stand there and you would go through the motions, but inside you would tell yourself, well, since my intent is not to burn the incense, to follow through with worship, and I'm just kind of going through the motions, but I'm not serious about it, then that will enable me to remain wealthy economically, to be able to buy, sell, and trade, and to be able to go to the Agora and economically survive.

Well, they're thinking somehow that what I do externally doesn't have any impact on what I believe internally.

Jesus doesn't agree at all.

Others in Pergamum, We're actually being faithful, however.

Some were saying, no, we're not going to do this.

He said, I know where you live, where Satan has his throne, yet you remain true to my name.

You did not renounce your faith in me, not even in the days of Antimus.

And there's the Greek word for martyrdom.

So even when you saw Antimus tortured and killed at the seat of Satan on the altar of Zeus, you still refused as he refused to worship the pagan gods and to give honor and homage to Caesar.

But others in Pergamum were not, and Jesus is not happy about it.

He says in verse 14, nevertheless, I got a few things against you.

There are some of you who hold to the teaching of Balaam.

We've discussed what that is, who taught Balak to entice the Israelites to sin so they ate food, sacrificed the idols, and committed sexual immorality.

And then verse 15, likewise, you also have those who hold to the teaching of the Nicolaitans.

Now, what is the teaching of the Nicolaitans?

Irenaeus was a church father who lived in Smyrna or modern-day Turkey.

He was one of those early church fathers that was very well respected, planting churches, spreading the good news of the gospel.

He was somewhat like Luke in that he was very knowledgeable of what had happened in the early part of church history.

If you look carefully, you'll only find it mentioned once and very quickly in Acts 6, he is appointed as a deacon.

And the story of Nicholas, from which we get the Nicolaitans, is that he pretended to be a believer, but he ended up leading so many Christ followers away because he had this kind of belief that it doesn't really matter what you do or experience.

A little bit of Gnosticism here.

The only thing that matters is what you say you believe inside.

What you do externally doesn't matter.

It's really about what you believe.

And Arrhenius writes about the Nicolaitans that they abandoned themselves to pleasure like goats leading a life of self-indulgence, perverting grace, how about that, as early as the third and fourth century, and replacing liberty with license.

Wow.

So what is the pattern here?

The pattern at Pergamum is simple.

I can enter celebrations at pagan temples externally while internally rejecting the rituals.

And Jesus says, no, you can't.

Now, I want you to take that just for a moment in Pergamum.

Go back to a story that you're all familiar with in Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego.

Let me read just a couple of verses out of Daniel 3.

King Nebuchadnezzar made an image of gold.

We've all heard this story.

Sixty cubits high, six cubits wide, and set it up on the plain of Dura in the province of Babylon.

Then the herald loudly proclaimed, I'm in verse 4, nations and peoples of every language, this is what you are commanded to do.

As soon as you hear the sound of the horn, flute, zither, lyre, and harp, pipe, and all kinds of music, you must fall down and worship the images of gold that King Nebuchadnezzar has set up.

Whoever does not fall down and worship will immediately be thrown into the blazing furnace.

Now, I want you to think about something.

Would God have accepted Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego if they would have gone out to the plain of Durham and bowed down externally, but not believed internally?

So they bowed down because they don't want to lose their lives, and they do so.

Imagine them bowing down and saying internally, well, I'm doing this externally, but I'm really not part of this celebration.

Internally, intellectually, I don't believe in all this stuff.

And what I'm saying to you is if Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego knew in their hearts that they were not worshiping Nebuchadnezzar's image, it would not have made their bowing down before the statue any more acceptable.

The public act of bowing had a recognizably public meaning, whatever their private intentions.

God had clearly warned them, do not bow down to the foreign gods.

And by the way, if you know the rest of the story, their refusal to bow down almost cost them their lives in the fiery furnace, and yet God spared them in this occasion.

And as a result, they became leaders in the entire kingdom.

part of which can be explained by Nebuchadnezzar seeing that their god was more powerful than any statue, but also primarily they're in this position because Nebuchadnezzar realizes there's someone who actually believes and who's willing to put their life on the line because of their belief.

The Apostle Paul's words are rather strong when it comes to participating in something that celebrates or glorifies the profane.

Paul says, 1 Corinthians 10.20, I do not want you to participate with demons.

He considers that all of this is demonic.

Bowing down to false idols, no matter what you do externally, no matter what you say you believe internally, Paul says don't do it.

This is the doctrine and this is the celebration of demons.

Now, stay with me.

Jeff, wait a minute.

Did Jesus not eat with the sinners?

I hear this all the time.

Well, yes, of course he did.

But he did not celebrate or participate in immorality.

Sure, he spent time with Zacchaeus as the result of Zacchaeus'encounter with Jesus.

Zacchaeus did repent and he gave everything back.

fourfold what he had taken, what he had stolen from others.

However, Jesus was not there to celebrate his profits from theft.

I mean, can you imagine Zacchaeus saying, Jesus, come on over, we're going to celebrate.

I'm part of the diamond club now.

Through all my hard work and thievery, I've become a rich man.

Jesus may have gone, but he would have had a definite purpose in mind to call Zacchaeus to repentance.

But Jeff, throughout Jesus'ministry, sinners flocked to Jesus, and he hung out with him.

Yes, but his message was always one of repentance, forgiveness, and love.

And you've heard me say we should never isolate ourselves into holy huddles where we never mix and mingle with those who are far from God.

But our purpose is not to celebrate immorality, but to present a life that is in contrast to it.

Jesus gladly ate and conversed with sinners, yes, but he never joined any occasion where sin was being freely practiced without exposing that sin and calling for repentance.

So now, back to the question.

Should I attend my gay son's wedding?

And how on earth does this relate to what to do when our children walk away?

Stay with me, because think of this question in the context of Pergamum.

I hear people today say, being at a gay wedding doesn't entail agreement.

So is it possible to attend a wedding that you do not affirm, and you love the bride and groom without celebrating what is taking place?

Here's the problem.

A wedding is a public event that entails each one in attendance to bear witness to the union.

Public witness.

Marriage is ordained by God and is meant to join two people together in holy matrimony.

There is holiness attached to it.

In fact, the Book of Common Prayer calls marriage this, and I quote, a holy estate which Christ adorned and beautified with his presence and first miracle in Cana of Galilee.

So, if Jesus Christ adorns and beautifies with his presence the wedding ceremony, how can you and I offer our presence at a kind of wedding that should not be adorned and is not beautiful?

A wedding does not take place outside the larger web of cultural meaning.

It just doesn't.

Your presence honors the actions of the bride and the groom.

So why would...

Look, I'm not saying this is easy.

There's real consternation even in delivering this message because you always risk people taking it the wrong way.

But you have to ask the question, why would any Christian participate or celebrate something that implicitly attacks the sacredness of marriage?

Why would we honor that which is dishonorable?

There's another phrase that's crept into the church that's really making me nervous in the modern, especially the megachurch.

And again, there are great churches all around, and our church is no better than any other church.

I'm simply saying we're trying together to take a look at cultural trends and how they've crept into the church and how we need to be on guard.

The Apostle Paul constantly warned the church, be on guard.

Guard your heart.

Guard your teaching.

So this phrase goes like this.

We want to be bridge builders, not wall builders.

The assumption is that we don't want to do anything that might destroy our opportunity to keep conversation and relationship happening with those who are far from God.

I tend to agree with that.

I think Christians should desire to extend love and keep the door open for gospel conversations.

Absolutely.

However, surely this good desire is not by itself a sufficient framework for making ethical decisions.

I want you to think about this.

Now, some of these examples are going to be extreme, I know, but that's the way I think extreme examples are the way you help people in culture see the logic behind it.

So let's say you're living in the 60s and 70s and your son comes to you and says, hey, I've been.

I have been introduced to the Ku Klux Klan.

I want you to come to my inauguration ceremony.

Now, as a parent, would you attend that ceremony?

Probably not.

But wouldn't you be afraid of burning bridges?

What about if your son or daughter is going to be introduced into a cult that you know is a cult that's going to destroy them?

Would you go to the inauguration or would you try to talk them out of it?

What about, what if your daughter decided, and I know this is extreme, your daughter decides she's going to have an abortion party?

Would you go celebrating the death of a child?

Have you ever heard of Sigma Alpha Epsilon? It's a fraternity at Arizona State University.

It's been identified as the worst fraternity in America because they have binge drinking night after night.

There's a low graduation rate.

There's four shots of tequila for new members, five times the legal limit.

There are sexual orgies and celebration.

So let's say your son and daughter comes to you and they've been accepted into Sigma Alpha Epsilon and they want you to come to their inauguration ceremony.

Would you do it?

Would you attend an incestuous wedding?

Oh, Pastor Jeff, that doesn't happen anymore.

You're kidding yourself.

Remember, I'm from East Tennessee, and I can take you to a place called Buck Mountain that happens every weekend.

Would you attend an incestuous wedding of a brother marrying a sister?

Or a polyamorous wedding?

Would you attend that?

The point is, here's the real issue, folks.

Culture has convinced many.

that it is not a big deal or sinful, when in reality we are told that those who live in sexual immorality without repentance will not enter the kingdom of heaven.

There are events and celebrations and ceremonies that are so sinful and offensive to God that most of us wouldn't think twice about turning down an invitation, no matter how hurt or angry a friend or a family member would be because of our non-attendance.

The problem is that gay weddings don't offend many Christians in the same way because these ceremonies have already become normalized.

Attending a gay wedding with the inevitable singing and clapping and rice throwing and cheering and hugging at the receiving line is more like participating in an ungodly ritual than eating meat that was previously sacrificed in a pagan ritual.

All Christians are instructed to avoid participating in any public event that celebrates immorality.

Now, we gotta stop.

All people are welcome at one and all.

We are all one and all.

One Savior died for all people.

And there are in some ways there's a lot more heterosexual sexual immorality happening than gay and lesbian marriage.

I got it We're all sinners.

No sin is greater than another no person is better than another together We all in our sin keep pursuing Jesus we celebrate forgiveness, but what we never can do is celebrate sin We will not celebrate adultery.

We will not celebrate pornography.

We will not celebrate fornication, incest, or any other sexual sin.

All those who struggle with those sins are welcomed here.

I want us and you to meet Jesus, who forgives all our sins and who gives us power to overcome it.

But to all of us, he would say what he said to the woman in John 8.

I forgive you, but go and stop sinning.

Sin no more.

And as much as I sympathize with parents who are desperate to maintain relational ties with their loved ones, I need to help you realize that you cannot be bound by a relational threat that loved ones might make when you don't agree with sinful choices.

Yes, don't push your son or daughter away.

Keep the door open for gospel conversations.

Bridges are better than walls.

But in my experience over the last 10 years, it's not the Christians who are building the walls.

Now, wait a minute.

There is an exception to this rule, and they're the ones who usually make it on television.

You do have that group of so-called evangelicals that are unloving.

judgmental, self-righteous people, but that is not typical of the evangelical world.

Most of my brothers and sisters have a love and compassion for all people, and they do want to keep the door open for conversations concerning the gospel.

But if the relationship is truly at stake in attending a gay wedding, It's not because the Christian mother, father, grandmother, or grandfather is choosing to cut off the grandchild by not attending the wedding.

It's usually because the gay grandchild chooses to cut off the Christian grandmother who will not join in a public celebration of what she knows to be wrong.

And I also have first-hand experience in my own family.

My father-in-law is a great grandfather to his grandchildren.

He tries so hard.

But his grandchildren will have nothing to do with him.

because he's been mean to them?

No, he invites them over every holiday.

They have meals around his table.

He's the one in the absence of their father that sends them money to take care of their car, take care of their expenses.

He constantly sends them birthday cards and cash, constantly.

But they have nothing to do with him simply because they know he doesn't approve of their lifestyle.

Even though he's told them, I love you, nothing you can ever do will separate that.

But as a Christ follower, I do not approve of the road you have taken.

So today, we have Christian mothers who are attending pride parades.

Now, what does a pride parade celebrate?

So I had to make sure I get my act together here, so I wanted to know.

So I went to the source.

Pride is about equality, and for the LGBTQ, lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, and then the plus is for whoever else might come along.

to be normalized.

The purpose of pride is to normalize sexual immorality, which is a grave sin against God.

So then, what is at stake and how does this relate to our sons and daughters who've walked away from their faith?

This is a strange new world for Christ followers and their families.

We now as parents have to straddle the fence between love, compassion, and clarity and courage.

And it's not going to be easy, but the battle must be fought.

because the flow of culture is constantly away from Jesus, and it will be strong, and only those who are determined will swim against it.

You know, I've read this verse numerous times, and these aren't my words.

These are the words of Jesus himself.

He says, in part of that great dialogue of the Sermon on the Mount, enter through the narrow gate.

For wide is the gate, and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it.

But small is the gate, and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.

Our sons and daughters are being pulled away by a powerful cultural influence.

and when they walk away from their faith, they do it for a few reasons.

Let me give you those reasons quickly, and then I'll give you what our response is.

Some walk away intellectually.

So they go away to university because they've never really understood why they believe what they believe, and because peer pressure is strong, or due to the fact they never really had a relationship with Jesus.

Think about it.

It's easy to walk away from an idea, harder to walk away from a relationship where you've experienced love.

So, whether it's cultural pressure, whether it's the fact they've never really had a relationship with Jesus, when they get into a setting where culture's powerfully going the other way, they just kind of swim with the tide.

Some walk away culturally.

That is, they claim to be Christ followers, but it's a form of Christianity determined by culture that really looks nothing like Christ of Scripture.

so they create Jesus in their own image.

They're not really following Jesus.

Their ethics really are from a secular humanistic worldview, and their idea is God is all-loving and all-kind, that there's never any holiness, and God never requires anything.

Totally subjective.

So when they get into a situation where cultural views contradict with what they've been taught in Scripture, they choose, because their relationship is totally subjective, they choose to go their own way.

They know what is right.

They just choose to go their own way.

Others walk away simply because they don't want to be conformed to the image of Christ.

Again, they know what is right.

They just don't want to live it out.

They see Jesus'teachings as binding or restrictive to the life they want to live.

They see Jesus as controlling rather than freeing.

And that goes back to why we teach our children about a relationship, not just doctrine or dogma, but a relationship of a Christ who has our best interest in mind.

And four, and I think this represents our time, our culture, many today walk away.

Because following Jesus means rejecting so much of the current cultural trends, and they don't want to be shamed or canceled.

They're like those in Pergamum.

They don't want to suffer for their faith.

They don't want there to be an economic price or a social price.

They don't want to be on the wrong side of history, as they're told.

So the pressure to not merely accept, but to celebrate abortion, gay marriage, transgender ideology is just too great.

Because they are ruled by trends rather than by the Word of God, they see the denial of the things I just mentioned as social injustice and Christians as the enemy of social progress.

But the real issue in all of these cases is a weak faith.

It's the seed and the sower all over again.

the seed, the word, the truth did not penetrate their hearts deeply enough where it took root.

And they had understanding of who Christ is, but they also had a heart relationship with him, to walk with him, so that when they got older, they would not desert it.

So the question is, and that's why we've been doing this series on raising faith.

The question is, a very simple one.

Now that we know...

What do we do?

And there have been four proven responses quickly.

Number one, please stay with me.

Keep the bridge of communication open.

Don't berate them or separate from them.

Remind them of your love for them when the opportunity arises.

Relationship is everything.

Keep it going.

One of the things my mother did as two of my brothers started to walk away from Christ is made sure that we all came together for a big meal because we weren't going to miss my mom's cooking.

So once a week on Sunday afternoon after church, whether you went to church or not, as we got older, everybody came around and the relationship continued, the conversations continued, and ultimately all four brothers began to walk with Jesus.

Now that's not a guarantee, but keep the relationship open.

Do not separate.

Do not berate.

Keep the relationship.

Now here's a few good statements to make to your children.

You are my son or daughter, and nothing you could ever do would make me stop loving you.

Wishing the best for you.

Praying for you.

Whatever you do, wherever you go, you're still my son or daughter, and I will love you till the day I die.

This home will always be your home.

You'll always be welcomed here.

And whether you are a Christian, an atheist, agnostic, Republican, Democrat, which in some people's minds is even worse, whatever, you are my son and daughter, and you are always welcomed around my table.

Proverbs 15.1 says, A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Even when you say the hard thing, you can say it in a gentle, loving way.

Matthew 5, 9, Jesus said, Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called the children of God.

Two, and this is why we did all that work up front, because it's important, never compromise your faith.

That may tick them off in the short term, but it may be the thing that brings them back in the long term.

A good reminder to yourself is that I will neither celebrate or accept sin of any kind in my own life or in the lives of those I love or in my home.

I will never tell you then unless, this is what you say to your son or daughter, I will never tell you that unless you accept my Christian faith, you cannot be my son and daughter.

I would never do that.

But I ask you to respect me in the same way and do not make your love for me contingent upon me agreeing with you in matters that contradict my faith.

Can we not respect and love each other that way?

If my grandmother were alive today in the midst of this struggle, I don't think there would be a real problem because everybody knew where she stood.

She had this huge poster on her wall that quoted Psalm 119.

How can a young person stay on the path of purity?

By living according to the word.

I seek you with all my heart.

Do not let me stray from your commands.

I've hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you.

Praise be to you, Lord.

Teach me your decrees.

With my lips, I recount all the laws that come from your mouth.

I rejoice in following your statutes as one rejoices in great riches.

I meditate on your precepts and consider your ways.

I delight in your decrees.

I will not neglect your word.

Keep the bridge of communication open.

Never compromise your faith.

Three, model the Christ-like life.

Don't stop modeling the Christ-like life in your prayer, in your devotions.

Share openly what Jesus is doing in your life.

Not berating them, but don't stop speaking about Jesus because they've walked away from him.

Sandra Stanley has a great comment on this.

She says, There is no guarantee your children will always believe what you raise them to believe.

What they choose to believe is beyond your control.

What is in your control is your response, your reaction.

Your best response is to live your life in such a way that your kids never doubt you believe what you raise them to believe.

Can I tell you something?

Okay, I'm one of the older guys now, and here's what I've recognized from the generation in which I grew up.

For most young men and women who are raised in Christian homes, who walk away from Jesus, if the relationship remains, they may get angry at some of the stances you take, but if your love and relationship remains and you don't beat them over the head and berate them because they walked away.

more often than not, the children come back home because they need to go out and be exposed to the real world and what the worldview that they're trying to follow really accomplishes.

And somewhere along the way, through the prayers of a grandmother and a mother, they find the futility of this world, especially when they get married on their own, then they have children, they start to recognize the deeper questions of life.

And if you've left the door open without compromising your faith, The problem is, if you try to leave the door open by compromising your faith, then your worldview to them will become less real.

They need to know that what you believe, you actually believe.

And you live it out in your day-to-day lives.

And then four and finally, four and finally, give your child over to God.

This is going to take great courage, mom and dad.

You must give them over to God.

and give God permission.

Now, I know God doesn't need your permission, but your relationship with God, you've got to give your child over and say, God, I pray that you would orchestrate and fashion together events in my child's life to bring them to the end of themselves.

Now that's a hard prayer to pray because you're basically praying for some type of ruin to happen in the life of your child.

But one of the reasons Jesus told the story of the prodigal son was the prodigal father let the son go.

I mean, it's amazing when the son comes to the father and says, give me my inheritance now.

I want to live as though you're dead.

And the father goes through with it because he knew that was the only way of ever getting the son truly back into his arms.

And he lets the son go.

What happens?

The son doesn't make any move toward home until he's feeding and eating the food he feeds to the pigs, which was the.

which was the worst thing a young Jewish boy could be involved in.

And at that point, when he comes to the end of himself, that's then and only then.

When all the money's gone, when all the wealth is gone, when all of his friends are gone, when he's been brought to ruin, does he turn around and head toward home to the heart of the father?

Do not enable or defend or justify your son's or daughter's actions.

Do not do that.

Don't berate them, but don't justify or enable.

You know, I know there's so much more to say, but I'm out of time, but I do want to finish this.

I mentioned Francis Thompson, who wrote The Hound of Heaven.

I've mentioned him numerous times in my messages, but I seldom really talk about his history.

A lot of you, when I say that, oh yeah, I've heard that, but I don't really know what that's about.

Let me tell you something about Francis Thompson.

I think this will encourage all parents.

He was born to Christian parents, 1859 in Northwest England.

He was actually educated for the priesthood, and he walked away from his faith in his late 20s. He actually ended up becoming an opium addict.

He falls into a life of hopelessness, despair, destitute.

He's sleeping on the banks of the River Thames.

He sells matchsticks to somehow get enough money to stay alive.

and yet his story is remarkable because this man had a brilliant mind.

He would often send essays in to the London Courier, and they would recognize immediately that this, he would not sign them, but this is a brilliant mind, and yet he can't come to terms with who he is in Christ.

So in the midst of his hunger and deprivation and hopelessness, When he's at the lowest of the low, at that moment he began to recall the teachings of his parents and past experiences of worship with the living God.

And it was on these banks of the River Thames that he wrote the famous poem, The Hound of Heaven.

One of the poems that would go on to greatness in substance and influence, ended up influencing the likes of J.R.R.

Tolkien.

But please hear me now.

Francis Thompson lived between Thames and Charing Cross, and he would wrap his raincoat around himself to stay warm and dry.

Hungry, poor, destitute, cold, and somewhere in the midst of his lostness, he wrote, not Hound of Heaven, but a poem called In No Strange Land.

And I want to read it to you.

He says, O world invisible, we view thee.

O world intangible, we touch thee.

O world unknowable, we know thee.

Inapprehensible, we clutch thee.

So what he's saying there is that we think we don't know you, but we do.

We think we don't understand the world, but we do.

We think you're invisible, but you're not.

He says, does a fish soar to find the ocean?

So a fish doesn't question whether the ocean exists.

Does an eagle plunge to find the air?

An eagle doesn't.

Ask the question, does the atmosphere exist?

Do we ask the stars in motion?

If they have rumor of you there, the stars know the existence of God.

Not where the willing systems darken, and out benumbed conceiving soars.

Our conceiving is numbed by our suppression of what is true.

The drift of opinions, opinion is angel's wings, would we hearken, beats on our own clay shattered door.

We don't need to look in the universe to see the work of the angels, just need to look in our own life.

And then he says, The angels keep their ancient places, touch but a stone and start a wing.

Tis ye, ye strange faces, that have missed a many-splendored thing.

It's all around you, but you've missed it.

But when so sad, thou canst not sadder.

When you're so sad you cannot hurt any more.

Cry upon thy sore loss.

Shall shine the traffic of Jacob's ladder.

Jacob's ladder, remember, surely God is in this place.

Pitched between heaven and charing cross.

Yea, in the night my soul, my daughter, cried clutching by the hymns, his blanket, lo Christ, walking on the water, not of Gennesaret, which is another way for Sea of Galilee, but Thames.

What's he saying?

In my lowest of the low, when I lost it all, I looked up and got a glimpse of Jesus walking on the water and began to recognize that God is everywhere and I had missed him.

And then in Hound of Heaven, he wrote, I fled him down the nights.

I fled him down the days.

I fled him down the arches of the years.

I fled him down the labyrinthine ways.

But in the end, the Hound of Heaven would not let him go until one day.

One day he realized what he had been looking for all of his life had been planted in him when he was young.

And he turned around like the prodigal son and he headed toward home.

Moms and dads, don't give up.

Don't give up.

You planted something that will never leave them.

It's the foundation upon which their lives have been built.

Keep the bridge of communication open.

Never compromise your faith.

Model a Christ-like life.

Give your child over to God.

Give him permission to do whatever it takes to bring your child home.

Because when your child comes home, you not only get him now, but you get him or her for all of eternity.

Constantly pray.

that God would do what he needs to do, remembering that God may not violate the freedom of your child to choose or reject, but he can overwhelm him with the beauty of life and the futility of this world.

Father, I pray a pastoral prayer for every son and daughter who's walked away for reasons maybe perhaps we've not even mentioned.

And I would pray in Christ's name.

that you would do whatever's necessary, orchestrate events in their lives to open their eyes to the beauty of your world, to the futility of this world system, and to the eternity that has been placed in their hearts, so that those who are far away from you might come home in Christ's name.

Amen.

We're so glad you could join us for that incredible message.

If you are coming out of what you just heard from Pastor Jeff, and you're not sure what to do next, I really want to encourage you.

We have a whole prayer team, people on staff, people that volunteer who just want to spend time praying for you and coming alongside our church family in prayer.

So if you're coming out of this message and...

maybe you have a prodigal son or a daughter, or maybe you are that prodigal son or daughter, or you just have a heavy heart with something that you're responding to from today, I would really encourage you go to oneandall.church.com.

You can submit a prayer request there so our team can come alongside you.

And so we could just support you as a church through whatever season you might find yourself in.

Yeah, that's such a great resource.

For those of you who really enjoyed Pastor Jeff's message, I want to encourage you.

We have this thing called Conversations.

It's just a podcast where I sit down with Pastor Jeff or other speakers and in the future, other pastors and scholars and theologians.

So I want to encourage you to go to our YouTube channel and watch the episode that we're about to post for this one, which was really good.

It's really in-depth and an honest conversation.

And so if you want more of that, definitely go to YouTube and watch all of those.

Yeah, it's so great.

We're actually on the set right now for the conversation.

So it's been really cool to sit and watch you speak with Pastor Jeff and really get more into those questions.

And I do know you have a fun episode that we're working on right now for conversations coming out.

A special guest.

A special guest.

I mean, I'm really excited, but I think a lot of people would really love.

this person, his name's AJ Sabota, and he's just an awesome scholar, pastor.

And he just came out with a book that I think everybody should read.

And so that's kind of the future of conversations is to get more people that have such great Christian values and that are speaking out and are teaching us how to experience Jesus in our everyday life.

And so, yeah, I'm excited for that one.

Yeah, absolutely.

So make sure to check out those conversations episodes right now on our YouTube channel.

You can share those also.

That's a great place to start sharing resources with people.

And we just want you guys to be equipped and encouraged and ready to go with the truth of the gospel, right?

So we'll end as we always do with one hope, one life in Christ.