Forgiveness
Forgiveness is hard. And for most of us, when we are in a situation where we need to forgive someone, the last thing we want to read about is “forgiveness”.
If that’s you right now, please keep reading.
I don’t know anything about the situation that is causing you pain or why you are angry with your spouse, best friend or parents. But this I do know: God loves you and only has the best plans for your life. And sometimes, when you are holding on to anger, God may feel very far away when you need Him the most.
“But you don’t know what they did."
No, I don’t. But I do know that our God is bigger than any tragedy or personal situation in your life. And when you are thinking, “It is impossible to forgive this”, I will tell you that “nothing is impossible with God” (Luke 1:37). That is not to say forgiveness is easy or quick, but it is possible.
Several years ago I went through a very difficult situation with a co-worker. After confronting him without any changes, I involved our boss. A lot of ugly and hurtful things were said in our meeting but nothing changed. Finally, he resigned and moved away. While I was thankful that he was gone, I was still hurt and angry at the way he treated me. Anger and bitterness consumed my thoughts.
A few years later, I saw him at a conference I attended; I walked the other way to avoid him. But God put him in my line of sight during the opening session and ever so gently, but firmly, said to me, “Tell him you are sorry.”
The gasp was almost audible! “But God, I didn’t do anything wrong. I am not telling him I am sorry.” God continued to work on me throughout that morning, constantly whispering, “Apologize”. After a couple (okay, several) hours of trying to negotiate, I gave in and went to find him. When I finally found him, I said, “I don’t know what happened between us and by the time you left, we weren’t even speaking to each other. I just want to say that I’m sorry.”
Sometimes, when you are holding on to anger, God may feel very far away when you need Him the most.
His response doesn’t even matter, for in the moment I said, “I’m sorry”, the pain, anger, bitterness, burden and weight of being unforgiving was lifted. And I was FREE. Are we friends? No. Do I see him or follow him on Instagram? Nope. Does it matter? NO! Because I chose to obey God, set aside my pride and “right” to be angry, and did what I did not want to do, God removed the ugliness and freed me from bondage.
Forgiveness is an act of obedience, which is at the very heart of being a disciple of Christ. It is a choice we make over and over again, asking God every morning or a hundred times a day to carry the burden, remove the anger and bitterness, and replace it with His love so you can honestly wish the other person well in their life.
God’s plan for us is always for good and not for evil. (Jeremiah 29:11) When we follow His plan to forgive others as we have been forgiven, we will be free indeed.
What a blessing it is that we can find freedom in Christ! We'd love to know how God's empowered you to forgive.